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What I know for sure...

With apologies to Oprah, here are some universal truths I learned today:
1) It is a bad - no, a very bad - idea to shop for swimsuits after work, especially if you haven't been to happy hour;
2) You should remove your black crew socks BEFORE trying on swimsuits but, if you forget, for God's sake, don't look in the mirror;
3) It is impossible to "look 10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds.' Sorry, Miraclesuit, but you're full of it.

Comments

Marguerite said…
You speak the truth. Perhaps you should start over tomorrow after happy hour. I would settle for 2 pounds in 2 minutes. The swimsuit coverup is the "miracle" part. Also, just keep telling yourself "I will never see these people again after this trip."
Cathy Hamilton said…
I adapted the "I'll never see these people" philosophy a few years ago and, I must say, it's a game-changer. Love the Miracle Cover-Up concept. Let's market it!
Christy Suzanne said…
You crack me up. It's been my expereince on European beaches that you'll be more covered and more self-aware than anyone on the continent. After two local beverages, you'll feel sassy and enjoying those hairy bellies overlapping Speedos.
Cathy Hamilton said…
Christy, thanks for the reassurance and welcome to BoomerGirl Comment World! I hope you are right. Now, to ensure one of those hairy bellies isn't my own, I'm adding depilatory to the shopping list, right under self-tanner.
Ann said…
The "I'll never see these people" philosophy works great, except when it's a family reunion!
When it's just my husband and I, I'm wearing a bikini and feeling fabulous.
Add my mother and grandmother to the scene and suddenly the one-piece is showing too much skin!
Quick, pass the long t-shirt!
You will look gorgeous no matter what. You are the BG, hold your headlights high!
chenlina said…
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