Sunday, May 19, 2013
Embarrassing moment No. 568
I dashed to the grocery store today at the perfect time - after KU Commencement traffic had cleared and before the tornadoes were to scheduled to move in (any minute now). I'm making another cauliflower-crusted pizza tonight. This time, with Brussels sprouts, asparagus, bacon, carmelized onions and cheese. Eager to get home, I picked up some deli bacon, then dashed through the produce aisles for the rest. I wanted to buy some slivered almonds for a salad, but I couldn't locate the fresh nut display THAT'S ALWAYS RIGHT THERE. I looked and looked, making several laps around the entire department. But, the slivered almonds were nowhere to be found. I approached a store employee who was busily applying stickers to oranges. "Excuse me, sir," I said, apologetically. "But, I can't seem to locate your nuts." That's right. Not, "the nuts" or "your slivered almonds." I said, "I can't seem to locate your nuts." He paused, and I thought later that he must have been trying very hard not to say, "That's what she said." But, he simply pointed me in the direction of an out-of-the-way end cap and went back to work. That's when, instead of saying 'thank you', I burst into a raging fit of hysterical laughter. Like the kind you get in a crowded elevator or in the middle of a somber funeral. Or, maybe that's just me. Shoulders heaving up and down, this fifth grader in a 57-year-old woman's body took refuge in the "seasonal merchandise" aisle until she collected herself enough to check out. I was still laughing all the way home. Truth be told, I'm giggling a little right now.