Saturday, December 28, 2013

Sex and the married hip patient

My husband was the only male - and hip candidate - in Joint Replacement Class last night. The rest of the students were older women scheduled for knee replacements. I was the only spouse/"coach" in attendance. We took our seats at the U-shaped table and the hubs opened his Guidebook for Hips.
Look at those hip patients hula-hooping. Wow!
On the right was the table of contents with tabbed sections like Preoperative Checklist and Postoperative Care.
On the left was a pocket containing this....
 Without hesitation, he opened the booklet on top of the table and started reading. At least two of the gals took notice. One lady shot me a knowing glance. I think she may have winked. The teacher, a very pregnant R.N., started the Power Point but he kept reading. "Pay attention!" I whispered, at which point he lowered the booklet to his lap, under the table and pretended to watch the presentation. Afterward, on the way to dinner, I asked, "Did you learn anything from that sex booklet?" "Yes," he replied, "it says you should have as much sex before surgery as possible. At least, once a day. Something about getting oxygen into the blood." "Nice try," I answered.
    This morning, I decided to read the booklet myself. The information was good, but the pictures told the story....
Something tells me this guy isn't going to wait.
This photo seems to suggest hip patients do it at the kitchen table.
Uh-oh. Looks like he should have waited.
My favorite. I really like their hairstyles.

7 comments:

Carol Starr Schneider said...

Absolutely hilarious! I love the little hearts, the hairstyles, and the uh-oh moment of dislocation. That's gotta hurt. xo

Cathy Hamilton said...

I know. It is rather adorable.

GolferGirl29 said...

OMG, this is hysterical!

Anonymous said...

Best laugh of the day! But isn't it sad than none of those women are going to get the kind of support you are giving your husband. Best of luck to both of you.

Cathy Hamilton said...

Thanks, Anon. I believe the ladies had coaches, but didn't think to bring them to the class. I went as a 'second pair of ears'. I'm actually looking forward to it now. The private hospital rooms are huge with a big pull-out bed, desk and wifi. And you order meals just like room service!

Violeta Wright said...

Love your partner call PlacidWay @ +1.303.500.3821 and get a free quote for hip surgery or replacement or you can visit Total Hip Replacement Surgery in Bangalore, India

Cathy Hamilton said...

And I thought the 40-minute commute to the hospital in Kansas City was long. India...whoa!