Mexico minus 4 days

So what if I've got a head cold and my yard is littered with several large downed limbs. We're going south of the border on Sunday, hell or high water. We even bought tickets to the first annual Sayulita margarita contest next Tuesday night. Serenity now. And, if not now, serenity Sunday.

Oh, but it IS gorgeous.

Our suddenly private screened porch. Snow's too thick to come thru the screen.

Our front/side porch

That old pear tree was coming down in the spring, anyway.

'Getting old, Mother Nature.

Even if the roads were passable, which they're not, we couldn't venture out, anyway.

Because the only way out is blocked by snow-laden trees. Snow-laden. That's how I'm feeling, as in heavily loaded or weighed down. I can't even muster the enthusiasm for a board game and that is SO unlike me. It's like Mother Nature is saying, "You want to go on vacation? Fine. But, you'll have to earn it, baby."

Sh*t my deaf husband says: Oscar night edition

Me (reacting to all the random, ridiculous comments the hubs is making about the Academy Awards): I should be writing this stuff down.
Hubs: You don't want to get sucked down?

5 minutes later, after one bathroom break and the three minutes it took to find my laptop....

Me: So, what did you say? You didn't want the show to suck me down or my stuff down?
Hubs: Maybe you should call it "Sh*t I Can't Remember Right After My Deaf Husband Says It."

Cabin fever: The cure

I choose not to think about this....

This week

Instead, I choose to think about this...

Next week

and this and this...

 

Next week

Next week

Yep, that works.

Snow White no more

My limbs are as white as the snow already on the ground and in the next blizzard due to arrive on Monday. (I think the gods are conspiring to make my last week of work before vacation total hell.) The good news is, I am heading to Mexico in 8 days, God and Nexrad willing....so let the fake tanning begin! I have tried lots of different tanners in my time but my favorite is this one from the Bath & Bodyworks "True Blue Spa" line.  It's a gradual, moisturizing tanner with aloe. The scent is nice, with just a hint of that 'roasting chicken' smell common to all self-tanning products.  Of course, in my case, "tan" is nothing but a pipe dream. I'm just trying to get the old gams to the 'non-reflective' stage.

Take one laughing baby and call me in the morning

I've been in desperate need of a good, long, soul-cleansing laugh for several days. Thank you, baby girl, whoever you are.

Snow day with the boys

Everything's been cancelled, so I'm home with hubs and son, who came to town last night for an all-important college basketball game, expecting 9 - 15 inches of snow today. Daughter is hunkered down at her place across town.  It will be a day of shoveling (them)...

 cooking (me),

Weather Channel and social media, and, of course, the obligatory "look how much it's snowed" pictures. 

Who knows? There may even be Bloody Marys with lunch. God help me, I love winter storms. Must be my Nordic blood. Skol!

Sh*t my deaf husband's wife says

Last night at grocery store, buying last-minute storm food ingredients:

Clerk:  That'll be 18.03.
Me:  Here's a twenty. I only have two pennies.
Clerk: I have a penny.
Me: You haven't eaten!??  You mean, like all day?!

I would like to take this opportunity to officially apologize to my husband. It, apparently, happens to the best of us.

Palapas and pesos

I don't mean to overdo the pre-vacay hoopla, but I believe anticipating a trip can be almost as fun as taking it. And, with "THE BIGGEST WINTER STORM IN TWO YEARS" getting ready to hit tonight, I'm looking for all the virtual warmth I can get. So, while I should be out buying batteries and other provisions, the preparation and pining for warmer Mexican climes continue. The big palapa pictured above is where I've decided to take yoga classes while in Sayulita, when I'm not hanging ten, of course. MexiFit's motto: Earn your margarita. (Note they say 'margarita', singular. I wonder how many classes I'll have to take to earn the whole pitcher.)

And, to help me figure out how much my pitcher of margaritas will cost, I found this handy-dandy little app for FREE on my iPhone. It's called xe Currency for "x-ceedingly elegant" and it saves you from doing all that nasty math in your margarita-soaked head.

Our 'his and hers' vacation

The first few days of our vacation in Sayulita will probably look something like this:

Quiet, relaxing, sunny - just the way I like it. Then, on my husband's 59th birthday, the scene will drastically change with the 4th annual Punta Sayulita Classic. (See video from last year below.) Action-packed, rowdy, bikini-clad - just the way he likes it. Oh, well, at least it won't be quite as crazy as the Queen's 60th Jubilee.  I'll say one thing about the hubs and me: We have an uncanny way of walking into a happening on vacation:

Counteract cataracts

Speaking of sun damage, did I mention I have very early signs of cataracts forming in both eyes? Delightful, isn't it? I could be years away from surgery, according to my new eye doctor, even a decade, but still... is there a diagnosis that makes a person sound older than "cataracts?" (Well, maybe "vaginal atrophy," but let's don't go there. It's Friday.) There is currently no way to prevent cataracts, but there are things we can do to slow their development including not smoking (check), avoiding steroid medicines (check), keeping diabetes under control (my blood glucose levels are excellent, thank you very much), avoiding sunlamps and tanning booths (duh!), and wearing a hat or sunglasses when we're in the sun. It was the last step that prompted me to buy the 'bigger is better' shades you see in the photo before hitting the beach in a couple weeks. They are called "Abigail" by Coach and the best thing about them is the part you can't see...

...the cool little rainbow of colors on the inside of the temples.  I think I'll double down and wear a hat, too.  If I can find one.  Did I mention I had the biggest head in my class? Oh yeah. The nuns had to special order a graduation cap for me.  Delightful, isn't it?

Cauliflower crust pizza

It was lovely to stay home and cook last night - just my Valentine and me - especially with pizza on the menu. I'd never been one to crave pizza (even in college, oddly enough) until I gave up wheat. Now, my mouth waters every time I pass a pizza parlor...and there's one on every block in this town. Enter this delectable low carb pie with cauliflower crust. Easy to make and so delicious, I'm already thinking about making it again Sunday night. This is the recipe I used, although I used a whole head of cauliflower.

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Not tonight, Valentine. I have a lesion.

     Something tells me that Scabby McDougal here isn't getting any V-Day kisses tonight, thanks to another go 'round at the dermatologist on Monday. The good news is, I only had three or four AKs this check-up. Nothing like last winter.  I just had the doc freeze them off. Quick, easy and only a little painful. Oh, I know there are other places to be kissed, but after gazing at me across our candlelight dinner at home, the hubs might not have the stomach for it. (Nothing says I have to light the candles this year, I guess.) The worse part is, the scabs tend to split open when I smile, so I look like the Valentine Grinch.
     Sunscreen. Use it every day, everybody. I can't emphasize that enough. And, for God's sake, stay out of tanning beds (not that I did a lot of that, thank goodness.)

Can't say much for your timing, S.I.

The skirt isn't as long on me. Otherwise, I look EXACTLY like this in it, except I'm older, completely pale and more dimply.

I arrived home after a successful day, the highlight of which was finding a bathing suit for our upcoming trip to the beach. It's a little one strap swim dress that I actually don't hate AND it's a size smaller than the suit I bought last May. I was feeling pretty good about myself, friends. The self-esteem was off the charts! Then, I saw it.....

Husband placed bottle of wine next to mail. Coincidence or genius?

Arrrrrgh! It's bad enough the perennial pain in my patootie arrives the day before Valentine's Day. This year, it comes on the day I tried on six swimsuits in my grey ankle socks under florescent lights!?!  Well, I won't be flipping through the pages any time soon. I don't care how many exotic locales they've got in there. And, if that cab is supposed to be for tomorrow....sorry, dear.  I'm pouring it now!

Orthaheel to the rescue

My toe is all but cured (albeit still swollen) and I've resorted to wearing these new flip-flops in the house to prevent a potentially tragic re-stubbing. The shoes are from Orthaheel and they're, supposedly, the only flip-flops recommended by podiatrists, especially for those of us with plantar fasciitis.

The arch feels great, and the shoes are sturdy enough (thus, the sturdy price) to last for several years or, in my case, several stubbings, whichever come first.

Wha' SUP?

With just three weeks to go until our Sayulita vacation, my husband seems to think he's going to learn the fine art of the SUP (Stand-Up Paddleboard) while we're down there. True, he's in the best shape of the last several years, and they say "anyone can learn to SUP," (anyone? really, people?) but I've got a few concerns:  1) Nobody seems to wear a lifejacket when they're SUP'ping;  2) I can't find a single photo of an almost 60-year-old doing the SUP...

and 3) That he'll insist I join him for a lesson.
There's got to be a way out of this, and I've got three weeks to come up with one. 

I could drink a case of Joni

Here's a great article on one of my all-time favorite songs. Still know all the lyrics by heart. Sigh.

Silver sensations

I'm always talking to women who are 'this close' to ditching their fake hair color forever and going real and silver (which is a much better word that 'gray,' don't you think?)  Maybe this this story in the NYTimes will push them over the edge.

Sh*t My Deaf Husband Says, Ep. 3

On the phone, discussing his suggestion we take the kids out for dinner, even though it's Monday and, this morning, we planned to cook in:

Me:  What happened? Did you find some extra money?
Hubs:  Of course! I always miss my honey.

Helluva sweet guy, but deaf as a post.

Four weeks till flip-flops

Yes, my toe hurts and shoes are not my friends. The good news is, four weeks from today, I'll be here....

Oops, I did it again: Confessions of a serial stubber

You'd think I'd grow out of it, already. I've been stubbing my toe, with alarming frequency, ever since I was old enough to walk. We're talking 6 - 8 times a year (compared to my husband who has never stubbed a toe in the entire time I've known him - what's up with that?)  I did it again big-time yesterday afternoon, 4 hours before I was to perform in pointy, stiletto boots at a fundraiser for the local community theatre. (The show went on thanks to a masterful taping job by my Eagle Scout spouse, 3 ibuprofen and several sips of wine backstage.) Today, there isn't a pair of shoes in my closet that I can walk in without screaming. From war stories told by my fellow performers, serial stubbing is a fairly common problem and, seemingly, only in women. It seems there might be a market for some kind of reinforced - steel-toed, perhaps? - house slippers.  In the meantime, the hubs just found a big wad of bubble wrap in the garage.

Sh*t My Deaf Husband Says, Ep. 2

Me: I just got a text from Barrett (our son). He has a deviled eggs question.
Hubs: He has a double dating question?


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