Skip to main content

Colonoscopy tips Katie didn't tell us about

Who needs Skinny Girl? My margarita mix.
      Tomorrow will be my third colonoscopy. I had my first one at 50 (as recommended by my doctor and Katie Couric) and, because they found a couple of polyps (which proved to be benign), I had another one at 53. That test was negative, so I was told to come back in 5 years for a follow-up. (Now, you're completely up to speed on my private medical history, HIPAA be damned.)
     As a colonoscopy veteran, I am not nervous about the procedure. I'll be knocked out thanks to that drug that killed Michael Jackson (hmm, maybe I should be a tad nervous) and the nap I'll take afterward will be glorious. It's getting through today that I'm worried about. First, there's the fasting. Nothing but clear liquids all damn day. Popsicles aside, I'm going to be one cranky camper by this afternoon. Then the, er, housecleaning, will begin. This is where the tips come in:
     1) A nurse told me that as long as I'm not working, I can begin the cleaning at 3 p.m., not at 5 or 6, as the instructions call for. "Those are for working people," she said. "The sooner you get it going (I silently pardoned her pun), the earlier you can go to sleep." Chalk another one up for semi-retirement.
     2) A doctor I know mixes the lemon flavored laxative in a margarita. Clear liquids, yes? That, my friends, is a game changer.  Because housecleaning tends to go a little better when you're relaxed.
    I'll spare you the details after the prep begins in earnest, but the question is: Are you having your colonoscopies on schedule? 


Normally, I envy you on a very deep, unhealthy level. Not today, my love. I wish you a happy colonoscopy. For my first effort, I destroyed the plumbing and the plumbers came and basically, we got a whole new driveway out of it. xo
Cathy Hamilton said…
Whoa. You'll have to explain that one...privately, of course.
I really like your article. It’s evident that you have a lot knowledge on this topic. Your points are well made and relatable. Thanks for writing engaging and interesting material.
It's really good to know what to expect from a colonoscopy. I like your tip about when to start cleaning. That's a hard thing to deal with, especially if you're working. My wife and I are planning on getting our first colonoscopy pretty soon, so this helps a ton.

Popular posts from this blog

I'll be back after these messages

Boy, I thought I'd never see the old blog again after the whirlwind of life I've had - and am still having - this fall.  Thanks for not giving up on me.
First, the wedding in late October came off with only one hitch. (Don't get me started on over-extended wedding planners.) I ended up cobbling an outfit together from Chico's in taupe (my spin on the mother-of-the-groom mandate: Wear beige and keep your mouth shut), threw on a bunch of pearls and an autumnal pashmina, and did my own hair. Boom! Done. The beautiful Sunday evening wedding in the country culminated a week-long string of activities I have come to call Burning Man East due to the predominance of bonfires at various celebrations. Big fun, big exhaustion.
Three days after the newlyweds returned to Brooklyn, my son summoned the hubs to Game 5 of the World Series in Queens (in which the home team was playing the Mets.) The kid flew his old man to NYC,  bought tickets for themselves and two others, and put him u…

Sabi: Helping your medicine cabinet look hip

I've always said that the companies who figure out how to make aging cool will win baby boomers' hearts in the end (or, better yet, a decade or two before the end.) The stakes are high. There are 78 million of us and gazillions of dollars to be made on our inevitable decline. Enter Sabi. With a mission " create products that are intuitively and beautifully designed in order to infuse life’s daily rituals with delight," Sabi boasts that their products "marry superb functionality, simplicity, and aesthetics to make the most mundane to-dos – from taking your daily vitamins to taking out the trash – more enjoyable." I received this bevy of review samples in the mail yesterday: pill folio (aka: 'pill organizer'), dispenser, chopper, crusher and holster. I have to admit, I like the look - sleek, simple and utilitarian....although two of my friends have said they'd need 3 pill folios to hold all their supplements. (Sigh.) Still, I give it two…

Gray hair: A luxury anyone can afford.

I got one of those back-handed compliments on my gray hair from a stranger today: "I wish I could do it. But, I'm afraid of looking old....oh, gawd....but YOURS looks great... really!!" 
    No harm, no foul. It's happened before.
    Charla Krupp, author of "How Not to Look Old," once said, "it's such a luxury to be able to go gray. Because it is an aging look, and it means that you don't care about people knowing your age." 
    She was probably right. Thankfully, I've never been shy about stating my age - it's 56, for the record - or asking others their number, especially when playing 'Who do you know?' The gentler, albeit sneakier, way is asking the year they graduated high school, but sometimes I forget and just blurt it out, often taking people aback.
      But, does it bother me? The looking older part, I mean?
      No. But, admittedly, I'm married. I'm not in the meat market, the job market, or any othe…