Ode to the day trip
Posted by Women with something to say on Apr 25th, 2008
By Joanne Schiffbauer
All over America, families are planning trips to amusement parks. The anticipation is kind of like that felt on Christmas Eve. The kids have trouble falling asleep the night before, and are up at the crack of dawn and ready to go.
But, before you venture out, you really have to have a plan of action. There are basic requirements for the trip.
First of all, you need a "Designated Rider," or D.R. as they're known in the trade. This is a very important position. Fathers and older siblings usually fill this spot. The D.R. is expected to go on a ride when one of the group can't get another group member to accompany him. The D.R. has to have absolutely no fear of height and no previous history of motion sickness. The D.R. is most likely going to be the M.V.P. of the day; so valuable, that another family might try to "borrow" him. But, he has a "No Trade Clause" in his contract. So, as you pass the roller coaster, and see desperate families carrying signs reading "D.R. Needed," just keep walking: no eye contact, head down! Chances are, somebody's D.R. will take pity on them; and, there is always the possibility that a "Freelance D.R." will be at the Park that day and show up with his own sign "Will D.R. For Hot Dogs!' A win, win for everybody!
Next, You need a "Waver." Grandmothers make great "Wavers." They can spot the little cherubs at the top of the Ferris wheel and wave at the kids every time they're looking in our direction. (It's a matter of hand and eye coordination) I, personally, am a terrific "Waver." I even "Wave" at people who haven't brought their own "Waver" to the Park that day. So, If you have 20/20 vision, and no sign of"Carpal Tunnel Syndrome; you've got yourself a job!
Next, you need a "Picture Taker." Grandmothers traditionally don't make good "Picture Takers." Their hands are a little shaky and their snapshots are usually a little blurry. But, like I said, they are wonderful "Wavers," and they can't be good at everything. Moms can usually handle this job.
O.K. you've got your "Designated Rider" (D.R.), your "Waver," and your "Picture Taker." Now, you need your "Souvenir Buyer." I always volunteer for this position, and I might add, am very good at it! I buy great souvenirs. It doesn't matter that they cost 20 times more than they are worth. The park logo is cute, and the bags they're put in are a souvenir in themselves.
Now, for the items necessary for the trip ... you will need Band-Aids. (Someone always falls down and skins their knee while running to get on a ride.) You will need aspirin, or at least, I NEED ASPIRIN. I always get a headache in the middle of the day, and it gets worse every time I walk by the MERRY-Go-Round.
You will need the kids' pillows, so they can rest their little heads, and hopefully, fall asleep on the way home.
Last, but not least, is the bank loan you'll be needing for the cost of the day!
See you at the hot dog stand!
Comments
No one has commented on this story yet. Perhaps you'd like to be the first?
Post a comment
Commenting requires registration.