Goodbye to the Year of the Dress
Posted by Pat Detmer on Nov 27th, 2007
Goodbye and good riddance. In about a month, we will be finished with the Year of the Dress.
I tried to participate. I really did. But I failed.
The last time that I successfully wore dresses on a regular basis, Hall and Oates were headliners. Back then I could wear the requisite high heels that made one's legs attractive in a dress. I had a real waist then – also a good thing – and breasts that didn't reach that waist.
I was skeptical about the Year of the Dress, but I decided that I would give it a try anyway, stemming my natural urge to head directly to the business suits, jackets, and slacks – my standard uniform for the last fifteen years.
I prepared for my shopping trip by reading magazines and watching shows like "What Not to Wear." Stacy and Clinton said that very long dresses and skirts are passe', and that they aged you. They said that long dresses and skirts had a tendency to pull the body down – as if I need that! I was dismayed by that revelation. I like very long broom skirts worn with boots, but technically they didn't fit the bill. It was a dress that I needed to buy. It was not the Year of the Broom Skirt.
The key was to find a dress that would look good on my pear-shaped body. I tried on a shirtdress with a full skirt that looked like it belonged in "Grease." I thought that with an ensemble like that, I might be able to camouflage my pear-ness. But a quick glance in the dressing room mirror told me that a cinched waist and full skirt was not the way to do it. The dress would have, however, made an excellent birth control device in my youth.
So I went back to my recordings of "What Not To Wear." There was one dress that they mentioned over and over again as being one that was flattering to every body type: The wrap. A single piece, wrapped around you and tied at the waist. Simple. V-necked. Various lengths. And again they assured the viewers that it looked good on everyone.
Well so does mascara, but I don't wear that, either.
I tried on a wrap dress. I gazed at myself in the mirror, and I'll guarantee you that I wasn't thinking: "Gosh! They were right! This does look good on me!"
No. I was thinking: "Oh my God" and "Matron alert!" and "When did I become my mother?"
So on New Year's Eve, there will be an extra oomph to my celebration. Goodbye, Year of the Dress!
I just hope that 2008 won't be the Year of Mascara.
at 8:20 a.m.
WOW...I too will be celebrating...and I wasn't even aware it WAS the Year of the Dress....wonder what else I haven't been paying attention to???...lol...happy holidays!!