Weighty matters
Posted by Eileen Roddy-Phillips on Jan 30th, 2007
Is it just me, or has there been an increased level of conversation about weighty matters around town? Over the past weeks, while supping tea in different restaurants, I have heard females say things like: “I have always had issues with my weight. My mother was overweight too.” Or “That last diet was useless. I need to try something more drastic.” One of the most recent was when a skinny friend touched her stomach and said: “I am working on getting rid of these extra seven pounds I have gained over the winter.” If looks could kill, the imaginary seven pounds would have been sliced right off her there and then and pushed straight in her face. The conversation that really took the biscuit happened at a recent funeral reception.
I found myself standing between two extremely thin older woman, when one blurted, out of the blue:
“What are we doing about obesity?”
The cheesecake on its way to my mouth re-froze.
“About what?” I asked.
“About obesity,” she repeated. “America has an obesity crisis.”
They say that if you want to look and feel young, you need to go and sit in the midst of people who are about 30 years older than you. I think these two thin women stood beside me to emphasize their thinness. I did feel younger, but beside them, I looked fat. Somehow, I was unable to enter into a meaningful diaolgue about the challenge of America’s obesity problem.
Then there has been the Tyra Banks uproar. In case you missed it, some very unflattering photographs of Tyra appeared in various tabloids with headlines such as: “America’s Next Top Waddle” and “Tyra Pork Shop.” In 1997, 5’10” Tyra, appeared on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover. She weighed 130 pounds with every one of them placed in perfect proportion. Her picture and presence appeared on the world’s most famous fashion magazines and runways. Today, 1- years later, she weighs 30 pounds heavier and, in my view and the opinion of her fans, still looks stunning and beautifully proportioned. This is not the opinion of the tabloids and those who continue to laugh at her and mock her for being “overweight.”
In her TV show, “America’s Next Top Model”, Tyra stresses the importance of body confidence and inner beauty. This latest wave of media frenzy has caused her some angst. I know the millions of dollars she earned from her modeling days, will help ease some of this pain for her, but it is still hurtful.
So where do these conversations leave me and the thirty pounds of body fat I have gathered over the years? Unfortunately mine are not as well distributed as Tyra’s; they never were. Mine like to gather for conversation around my waist and thighs. Since hitting menopause, they have settled in quite comfortably, and refuse to budge. I shudder to think of the headlines if my recent New Zealand swimsuit photographs were to appear on the Internet.
When I was growing up, I don’t believe I ever heard conversations about people being overweight. I know this was in the days before fast food restaurants and junk food. I do remember concern being expressed about people who were considered to be underweight and skinny. Parents and grandparents tried to fatten us up. We were encouraged to eat and “keep our strength up.” When did the shift in conversation take place? When did we start judging and valuing ourselves by how much we weighed? When was the last time someone came up to you and said: “You have put on some weight. You look absolutely stunning?” In fact, I ask myself, when was the last time I looked at myself in the mirror, and told myself the same?
at 12:49 p.m.
another thought-provoking article, eileen! i, too, grew up in a household where you were always encouraged to clean your plate, and were constantly reminded to be thankful for your food and respect those with too little to eat. in fact, there was a huge amount of guilt placed on not eating enough (i can hear my mother's voice..."isn't anyone going to eat the last piece of (insert fattening food here)? it is just going to go to waste. think of all those kids starving to death in...." now i find myself cleaning my plate AND others'! i am such an obedient girl. haha! anyway, i have seen you recently and you look radiant, as always- and from the inside out. that will never change! cheers, from my thighs to yours. k
eroddy
at 2:53 p.m.
Thanks, Karen. What you said rings so true for me. My mother's way of coping was to provide us with good food. Do mother's everywhere tell us to think of the starving children? I know it is true, but, as children it is hard to grasp the concept of children at the other end of the world. One day my sister said: "O.K. mammmy" and pushed her plate aside, "why don't you just send it to them." Now, there is another story.
I am just wondering how hard is it for today's parents to make food decisions for their children? Striking the balance between providing quick/fast food for convenience sake in the light of so many activities, and being concerned about their children if they tend towards being obese is a pretty delicate line to walk.
A friend of mine has a really beautiful teenager, whose weight has become a health issue and it has caused her much heartache in trying to deal with it. I have another friend whose beautiful daughter has become annorexic because her peers called her "fat" when she really wasn't. Then there are us boomergirls who struggle with our own balancing acts of trying to cope with the challenges of seeing extra weight come up and brefriend our bodies.
So .. how do we strike the balance between being a healthy weight, and having a healthy self-image which is not dependent on how much we do or do not weigh?