Attitude adjustment
Posted by Eileen Roddy-Phillips on Oct 24th, 2007
I suppose it had to happen sometime. It took me by surprise when it did. The sudden appearance of floaters in my right eye sent me scurrying to the ophthalmologist. After a whole battery of tests, he assured me my eyes were healthy enough; floaters were part of the aging process.
“How are your glasses doing?” he inquired just as I was balancing feelings of relief for a good report with annoyance for one more official confirmation of the aging process.
“I don’t wear glasses,” I retorted rather too quickly and not with total honesty.
I’d been using those wee cheap magnifiers for several years, just to help me when reading proved a bit of a challenge. There are a dozen or so pairs scattered around the house, in my car, or in restaurants around town, because I don’t remember where I leave them.
“Let’s test your eyes,” he suggested.
As soon as I tried to read the letters I knew. I could barely make out the middle two letters on the first line; the more I stared the more they intermingled and meshed.
“Ummm … yes, there’s a D, or is it an O, or maybe it’s a C ….”
After adjusting lenses this way and that, I heard the final pronouncement:
“You definitely need glasses.”
Further tests and conversation confirmed contacts wouldn’t work for me. I left the office with a script for bifocals, a face that would turn the milk sour, and an attitude in need of serious adjustment.
I’m ashamed to confess extreme vanity is one reason for my reluctance to admit my eyes now need permanent help. I’d even deluded myself into pretending the magnifiers weren’t really necessary. I viewed permanent spectacles as a symbol of getting old. In my childhood, they were worn by a very few old people. Free glasses weren’t available through the National Health Care System (in Ireland) in the immediate post-war years. If a family couldn’t afford glasses, children (or adults) with limited eyesight just squinted. The first freebies were little brown or pink-rimmed (John Lennon-type) ones; people hated wearing them. They were a public proclamation of “poor.”
I shared all this with one of my friends. I got short shrift.
“Eileen, I’ve worn glasses most of my life. It’s nothing to do with age. I’m blind as a bat without them, and you’ll be the same way if you keep carrying on like this.”
Don’t you just love friends who tell it like it is?
She’s right, of course. Wouldn’t you think I’d have more sense by now?
I’m now in the acceptance stage (well sort of) but my menopausal dithering routine has returned in full swing. I’ve already visited six places to look for “suitable” glasses and have examined dozens of pairs from famous brand name designs to the more intelligent and sophisticated looking ones which may be a perfect match on the chiseled cheekbones of the slinky models but would look rather comical perched on my face. I want an invisible pair to cover the bags under my eyes and the crow’s feet that have gone walkabout on my eyelids. I’d like to add in-built signals to alert me when I lose them. Even if I miraculously found ones like these, they’d cost me a fortune. The cheapest “on sale” frames and lenses, including the ones with echoes of the freebie National Health relics, cost several hundred dollars (and that’s with insurance.) If I’m spending that amount of money, I want to ensure I choose wisely, so I’m set for more dithering.
The ophthalmologist assures me I’ll see the world better with glasses. Maybe I’ll get that attitude adjustment and perceive aging differently too? I could consider looking back on my life journey in a new light and celebrate this milestone instead of moaning about it. In earlier years, most of the spectacles I encountered were self-created dramas caused by worrying about things that never happened, and by events I took too seriously or distorted. I haven’t quite lost my touch as evidenced by this latest episode. Maybe I can learn to wear the glasses with pride and view them as a symbol of an older, mature woman who is willing to embrace every new day of life with a bit more sense, a clearer perspective and a new worldview?
at 5:01 p.m.
When all the rage today is to wear eyeglasses as if it were a pocket book, I'd say use the new look to your advantage. I have worn glasses since my teens and by the age of 40 I was getting off at the wrong exit on the road and writing the wrong check #'s into my register. Then, when I finally realized that it wasn't the glasses I went to see the Eye Doctor only to find that I had really bad catarats on my eyes. I was soooo glad to get them removed and go on with life. I still wear reading glasses. At least in this era they are cool.
eroddy
at 8:28 p.m.
You are right. I know I should be really grateful for news that my eyes are healthy - no cataracts, cancers, torn retinas - all of the things I could have had. And, yes, poorer eyesight is not dependent on age. One of the young women I talked to in the spectacle store said: "Oh, you are so lucky; I had to start wearing glasses when I was seven." Others have been very encouraging in suggesting, like you did, that I see them as "cool."
I've narrowed my selection down to three pairs, and Cathy H sent me details of some great discounts which are helping ease the shock of the cost a little bit.
I'll probably dither for another day or two before I make my final selection.
at 9:09 p.m.
Now, Eileen.
Don't let anyone try to sell you the frames that have a nose and mustache attached.
I always enjoy your blog.
Thanks