Showbiz Kid by Carol Starr Schneider
Rated M
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on May 3rd, 2008

If I’m remembered for one thing in this glorious life, it will be for my legendary impatience in situations I ...

“I haven’t watched it yet!”
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Apr 24th, 2008

The other day, I’m walking my dog and I see my neighbor Candy, a self-proclaimed danceaholic, pull up and park ...

Table for 18
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Apr 17th, 2008

Last week, I placed a very long distance call to my grandmother. I needed some reassurance. Our conversation went something ...

OMG!
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Apr 11th, 2008

Omigod. Gag me with a serious case of self-consciousness. I am so peeved at myself right now. Yesterday, opportunity came ...

Vocabulary lesson
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Apr 4th, 2008

When the college boy was in middle school, he zoomed through his weekly vocabulary assignment, trying to squish all twenty ...

“Late Edition”
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Mar 27th, 2008

Most mornings, I’m half-awake when I get up. A jolt of pricey java reboots my brain and like a miracle, ...

Out of the Closet
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Mar 18th, 2008

Today I walked out of my walk-in and into the light. I won’t lie. It felt good to get out ...

Line Dancing
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Mar 10th, 2008

Temptation is all around me. To my left are Swiss chocolate bars, gourmet jellybeans and Macadamia nuts. To my right ...

If at first you don’t succeed
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Mar 1st, 2008

Deep announcer voice: Good Morning. Journey through the Heartland. Today we meet a young man on a Herculean quest across ...

Lost in “Lost”
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Feb 21st, 2008

Imagine a magnificent island full of polar bears, red cows, smoke monsters, time travelers and grungy crash survivors who haven’t ...

Road Trip!
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Feb 8th, 2008

For the past three months, I’ve been on a weird and wonderful road trip, the kind that sends you in ...

Drive, She Said
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Jan 29th, 2008

It was a dark and stormy night. Cue creepy music. Bring on spooky sound effects. Crashing thunder and lightening will ...

Project Strike Wear
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Jan 16th, 2008

In a lifetime, a gal grabs but a few moments in the limelight, unless of course she happens to be ...

“Oh, Mare!”
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Jan 8th, 2008

The other night, as the ambulance took poor Britney away for a 72-hour hold, I turned to my youngest and ...

Me: An Ongoing Mockumentary
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Dec 28th, 2007

I sit here in my robe, sipping lukewarm coffee, with no one to picket at the moment but my own, ...

"Drummergate"
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Dec 17th, 2007

The Writers Strike has raised many important questions that have hit me on a personal level and taken up valuable ...

Honk before you flatten me!
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Dec 6th, 2007

As a strike captain, I play den mother to a small group of panicky writers. I do my best to ...

Chant your troubles away
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Nov 29th, 2007

Week Four of the Writers Strike and some of us are getting punchier by the minute. We’re tired and we’re ...

Munchkins Unite!
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Nov 19th, 2007

What do three surviving members of the Lollipop Guild, the Incredible Hulk and presidential hopeful John Edwards have in common? ...

Picket-iquette
Posted by Carol Starr Schneider on Nov 15th, 2007

Here we are, well into the second week of the Writers Strike, and the following revelation has seized my brain ...