Mommy's First Hot Flash
Posted by Dennis Anderson on Apr 4th, 2007
My wife, Julie, says she’s “thisclose” to being full-blown menopausal. She can’t sleep. She gets night sweats. When it’s time to pick up the kids at school she’s ready for a nap.
I wake in the middle of the night to find her watching HGTV or black and white movies on TMC. She’s having some crazy dreams.
One night she so drenched with sweat she had to change her PJs.
I’m just giddy about the prospects of this life-changing experience for both of us that I want to record every nuance. Sure, I won’t be having the hot flashes, but I will likely be the one walking on eggshells.
So, I want to create a memory book to document all the “firsts,” as well as the peaks and valleys associated with this malady called menopause. Heck, if new moms can do it for their infants, why can’t I?
Truth be told, I figure I can use the memory book as ammunition for when I become a crotchety old man and she lists my many sins.
So, ladies, what kind of symptoms should I be on the lookout for?
What behavior should I consider “irritable”? Why is she crying for no reason? What’s this thing called bloating? Should I duck when she has a mood swing? What is happening when she forgets what she is saying in mid-sentence?
Do chocolates and bouquets of flowers help?
What am I missing that I should be watching out for?
I’m all ears.
at 2:28 p.m.
Chocolate and flowers= good! You can't go wrong. Wait a minute... IF she's feeling bloated and fat and you give her chocolate then she may become irritated. Stick with flowers, much safer. Bloating is the uncomfortable feeling that you weigh more than you actually do because your pants are too tight. Very annoying! YOU will need an unending supply of PATIENCE. This cannot be stressed enough. And a sense of humor. Seems like you have that covered.
Good luck!
at 4:48 p.m.
I would mainly look out for the book, flying toward your head at a high velocity....I suggest monthly massages for your wife, paid for by you. You'll both be happier.
at 4:20 p.m.
You'd better not be writing in that book when she is having one of her mood swings. You may just get it up along side of the head. No they are not hot flashes, they are power surges, to bad they can't bottle those puppys!!! the light company would have nothing on women over the age of 50.
danderson
at noon
Hi Margo. Julie already has all the scrapbooking materials so I'm half-way there. I just can't let any of my friends know I'm doing a scrapbook.
at 12:01 p.m.
If my hubby dared to do a scrapbook, I would probably burn the thing! Ever see the movie, "Fried Green Tomatoes" with Cathy Bates? If not,rent it, watch it and it should give you an idea about menopause,or as I like to call it "mentlepause"! HAH! I really hope that you are NOT serious about that scrapbook! If I were your wife, I would go out and buy stuff to make a scrapbook of all the things you've done, that weren't so bright! That way,she'd have equal ammo about you and I hope she reads this! Let the games begin! HAH!~
at 12:02 p.m.
Dennis you need to assemble a memory book on what life was like when you were married because your smart aleck approach should lead to a divorce. If any intelligent woman had to choose between hot flashes or living with a jerk - I am sure the majority would say, “bring on the heat.”
at 12:02 p.m.
Surely he's joking. I say this because I can't believe any man doesn't know what bloating is.
danderson
at 12:03 p.m.
I just got back from lunch with my beautiful wife of nearly 22 years. She will enjoy your comments, and I, too, have had a chuckle. Let's talk about how your change of life has affected your relationship with you husband. Patience is something I have learned from my children and it has prepared me for what I am experiencing now related to Julie's changes. Keeping notes will remind me of this time. Julie's memory is much better than mine, thank goodness.
at 12:03 p.m.
If my husband tried to do something like this, I'd be very angry. What is happening is not amusing. I haven't slept a full night since 2001, and my sense of humor is not too good these days. (no hot flashes, or anything else, but six years of insomnia is really and truly dreadful.
at 12:04 p.m.
I found this on the Breast Cancer awareness site. I think it might go over better than a scrapbook! But wait, I guess it depends on how heavy the box is--- *wicked grin*
https://shop.thebreastcancersite.com/sto...
at 12:06 p.m.
I'm picturing a fancy scrapbook with pictures of her dripping with sweat and trying to button up her jeans. Funny little captions in cut-out letters. This is sick, but funny. My advice to you is prepare for anything and everything and, yes, chocolate works but it does contain cafeine so go easy.
at 1:59 p.m.
As nuts as the 'scrapbook' idea sounds I'm actually encouraged knowing a husband might take the time to notice his wife this much. I would find it amazing if my husband ever put a photo in an album much less make a scrapbook. Maybe if they made a scrapbook of thier marriage in midlife if would be more fun for them both and much safer for him.
Flowers and chocolate are always welcome but a ready hug, backrub, offer to cook dinner, weed the garden or just kind words can go even futher.
How about packing her own personal cooler with some ice and water for her to keep by her bedside along with a nice reading light and few good novels as well. But be prepared to acknowlege that sometimes she is going to feel to miserable to enjoy his kind gestures. Any kindness he extends now might ensure that she'll treat him better when he is a crotchety old man.