BoomerGirl Diary

Sitting down to write about sexuality issues related to Boomer Girls, I am blocked. That may not sound unusual to you, but I am shocked, shocked that I am blocked.

Let me explain. Since the age of 14, or before, some might say I have been obsessed with sex. I had a normal — no, blessed — childhood. We lived in a house full of love and humor, respect and courtesy, with only a minimum of turmoil and conflict.

The day Mr. Marty Stickle, my 10th grade biology teacher, described in great detail the intricacies of human reproduction, I was swept away. Something spoke to me that morning as he drew shapes on the board to represent organs, hormones, eggs and sperm. I pondered it all through history, English, gym class and algebra.

When I arrived home that night, my parents were sitting on the porch with their feet up, recounting their day, enjoying each other. I stood in front of them and announced, “I learned about the reproductive system today.” They looked up and my Mom said, “Oh?” Just one word: “Oh?” In the language of some families, that one word might mean “You are in big trouble,” or “This conversation is now over.” In my family, it meant, “Please go on. We are fascinated that you look so breathlessly enthusiastic about whatever it is you have on your mind.” See what I mean by “blessed”?

And so it was that I delivered my first lecture on human sexuality to an audience of two. I tried hard to get all the details right, and to somehow communicate the wonder and magic of it all. I’m sure my little soliloquy didn’t last long. But afterwards, my parents clapped, whooped, hollered and laughed with delight. I took a bow, giggling, and such was the beginning of my life as a sex educator.

So why am I blocked? There is a giant paradox in the way our culture looks at sex. Sex is personal. Sex sells. Sex is private. Sex is dirty, so save it for the one you love. Sex is intimate. Sex is between one man and one woman. Sex is beautiful. Don’t talk about sex. Sex is power. Sex is a sin. Sex is for married people. Sex is fun. Don’t act too interested in sex. Sex is money. Sex is everywhere.

I am blocked because I live in this world of paradox. As many times as I have cleared my throat, introduced myself and embarked upon a presentation about some aspect of human sexuality, I always notice a change in the room. We all quiet down, chuckle nervously, fiddle with our pens, or check furtively for text messages.

Even children, in their unsullied and uninformed innocence, know enough to be squirmy and uncomfortable about sexuality. I learned this while teaching fourth graders about “where babies come from.” After several days of presenting age-appropriate facts and figures, I sat down on a tall stool at the front of the room and invited the kids to ask any questions they might have on the topics we had covered. The first hand to shoot up in the air was Tommy’s. Seated in the front row, he seldom spoke in class, but suddenly seemed intensely interested. I called on him, and he asked, “Do we have to ask you out loud?” I said, “Well, Tommy, how else will I know what your question is?” He meekly replied, “If I come up and whisper it.”

After clarifying that he didn’t mind if everyone knew his question, he just didn’t want to say it out loud, Tommy approached my stool. He stood on tiptoe and cupped both hands next to my head. I had to ask him to repeat the question when the words got lost as he breathily screeched into my ear, “What if a lady gets TWO babies in her tummy?” Tommy returned to his desk, and I repeated the question out loud. He sat up straight, proud of his courage. I then proceeded to address the issue of twins, after clarifying the anatomical difference between tummies and uteruses. I spent the next hour straining to address the innermost, secret curiosities of each nine-year-old in the room, delivered privately to my left ear.

Even seasoned sexuality educators have moments of hesitation. Remembering Tommy today has helped me to unblock my flow of words about sexuality. Regardless of age, experience or beliefs, all of us honor and fear the intrigue of the human life force that holds us together, advances our evolution, fills our family albums and makes us very, very nervous. Let’s face the discomfort together and explore Boomer Girl sexual matters. If you have questions, you’re welcome to whisper.