BoomerGirl Diary

Most of us know what menopause is — the ending of our periods, the experience of hot flashes and mood swings and more — not to mention a variety of other challenges. If “The Change” is more than just a shift from my younger, reproductive body to my older non-reproductive body, what else is it?

In agreement with the major leaders in this field, I view the menopause transition, a phase anywhere from two to 13 years, as a time of transformation and rebirth.

Many of us have spent the majority of our adult lives caring for children and everyone else in our families. Whether we have children or not, our primary focus has been on the needs of those surrounding us — not on ourselves. With the shift toward the empty nest and the lessening of professional pressures, we now have the time and capability to focus on our own needs, dreams and passions. In a mirror image of adolescence when we first came into our own, now is the time for us to come into our renovated midlife identity. There is the opportunity for a rebirth of who we are and who we want to become. We can now get into the balancing act — caring for others AND caring for ourselves.

Alice Domar, author of "Self-Nurture: Learning to Care for Yourself as Effectively as You Care for Everyone Else," says, “(We as women) need to shower as much loving kindness on ourselves as we habitually shower on loved ones, and even not-so-loved ones. We need to be loved for our fully formed selves, not for our dependent, appeasing selves. And the only way we can have fully formed selves is by granting ourselves the same tenderness and fierce protectiveness we’d otherwise reserve for a beloved child.”

Another significant aspect of transformation and rebirth during the menopause transition is the effect of hormonal changes on our brains. We already know about the irritability, anxiety, and mood swings that can arise. But there are powerful positive effects on the brain, too! Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of "The Wisdom of Menopause" and a trailblazer in women’s health, explains, “Like the rising heat in our bodies, our brains also become fired up! Sparked by the hormonal changes that are typical during the menopausal transition, a switch goes on that signals changes in our temporal lobes, the brain region associated with enhanced intuition. How this ultimately affects us depends to a large degree on how willing we are to make the changes in our lives that our hormones are urging us to make over the ten years or so of perimenopause.”

Enhanced intuition can be a key factor in helping us connect minor decisions in ways based on what we truly think and feel. Trusting our gut empowers us to express ourselves authentically.

Regardless of your status in the menopause transition, the most important goals are to find symptom relief from a health care practitioner rather than suffering through it all, and to address the inevitable mind/spirit changes that are occurring. The Wise Passage column will continue to offer menopause insights for you. In the meantime, go to www.wisepassage.com for more helpful information.