BoomerGirl Diary

Dear Crabby:

I know I need to start taking better care of my health. What sort of exercise do you recommend for a mid-life woman? P.S.: I hate spandex.

Couch Potato

Dear Couchie:

It’s never too late to start exercising! Easier said than done, though, eh? The siren song of the couch is strong ... that’s why it is crucial to find a form of exercise you actually like. Might I suggest competitive shopping with a lead purse? Whack your opponents out of the way while performing resistance training!

Just kidding. Here are a few forms of exercise that you may not have considered. They are fun, safe, spandex-free, and easy on the joints. This is important, because for every woman who runs her first marathon over 50, there are four in my office who tried to, and are now getting a referral to an orthopedist.

• Walking: The easiest, cheapest, and best. Make it a group activity with your best friends, or get a dog to motivate you. Although with my dog, the walk is less of a power walk than a power sniff. Start with 20 or even 10 minutes a day, and work up to 45 for weight loss. If you haven’t seriously walked for a while, get ready for sneaker sticker shock.

• Swimming: I know, I know, you don’t want to wear a swimsuit, blah blah blah. Get yourself one of those aquatards that cover you from neck to knee, take off your glasses so you can’t see people looking at you, and remember that you weigh less in the water than on solid ground. Why, a toddler could lift you, you petite flower! Mix it with walking, though, because it’s not “weight bearing.”

• Tai chi: Slooooow. Flooooowing. Orgaaaanic feeling. You are strong. You are balanced. Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper. And get some kick-ass organic fiber workout clothes.

• Yoga: Great for strength, flexibility, and stress relief. And you get to learn all those Sanskrit words and throw them out at parties! “My dandasana is spectacular,” she said with a wink, over the rim over her wineglass. “And you should see my chaturanga.” You saucy Gumby, you!

• And, my very favorite — belly dance!: It’s a body-positive, woman-powered, sequin-covered shimmyfest. Love your belly. Love it. Love. It. Great core exercise, and the costumes ... oh, the costumes. So shiny ... so pretty. And, there are swords!

So, pick out your favorite new thing to try, and get up off that couch! You’ve seen every episode of Seinfeld at least six times anyway.