BoomerGirl Diary

Recently I came back from a trip to Japan, a visit to a Zen temple populated mostly by Europeans and Americans; a few years ago I went to Korea on a guided tour populated mostly by Americans and Europeans. So I’ve never been immersed in either culture. But even from inside the cocoons surrounding me there were some basic things I had to be told on the spot, and other discoveries that I wish I’d known about earlier. Here is my short list, ably edited by my friend Mitra Bishop who, unlike me, is an old northeast Asia hand.

Toilets

Squat toilets may sound primitive, but they can be as modern and shining as standard western toilets. To use a squat toilet, face the back. To avoid them, stay where the western tourists go or hope for a handicapped bathroom. Some western toilets are marked “western” and some are not.

Masking sounds

Public toilets often have a little box on the wall which, when you push the button or wave your hand, makes a waterfall sound to mask whatever it is that you are doing.

Showers

In Korea (and maybe in Japan) hotels that don’t cater to westerners often have showers without stalls or any kind of raised barrier on the floor, sometimes with a flexible hose (rather than a fixed faucet), sometimes with several shower heads to be used all at once. And no tub.

Public baths and hot tubs

After you get to the public bathhouse you shower, using lots of soap, and wash your hair. When you get in the public tub you had better be squeaky clean and totally free of soap. That’s the considerate thing to do.

Shoes

You probably know not to wear shoes indoors. In private homes (and some public places too) in both Korea and Japan there are brightly colored plastic slippers you are expected to wear in the bathroom and only in the bathroom. Not to wear them in the bathroom is unthinkable. Wearing them outside the bathroom is also unthinkable.

In Japan there is an elaborate shoe etiquette, at least in traditional buildings (and some others, like small medical clinics). The basic rule is: there’s the area for outside shoes and the area for feet. Feet never touch the area for outside shoes, outside shoes never touch the area for feet. The area for shoes is fairly small, just inside the door, and made of tile, stone, or concrete, 8 to 10 inches below the rest of the floor. Just past it is a raised wooden platform, with the main inside floor at a higher level behind it. In a graceful motion you step out of your shoes and place your feet on the raised platform. When you leave, you reverse the process, gracefully stepping down into your shoes from the raised platform. Never do your shoes touch the platform. Never do your feet touch the tile/stone/concrete shoe area. Messing this up is nearly as unthinkable as not wearing toilet slippers in the bathroom. This is why slip-on shoes are so popular to wear outside.

And then there are optional house slippers (traditionally straw, but these days mostly standard western house slippers), which are never to be confused with the plastic toilet slippers, which is why the latter often have “toilet” written in English or Japanese. Does this sound confusing? Pay attention when you watch My Neighbor Totoro with your grandkids, and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Socks

In Korean Buddhist temples your feet are supposed to be covered by socks. In Japanese Buddhist temples your feet are supposed to be bare (except for participants in certain ceremonies, but if that’s you, you’ll be told about it — and if that is you, your socks had better be white, preferably the traditional tabi).

Doorways

Traditional buildings have a raised threshold. Do not step on it. Step over it. Ditto for cracks between the tatami mats (if there are tatami mats covering the floors) or flat thresholds in rooms with tatami mats.

Hiking

Mountains are almost everywhere in Japan and Korea, as are mountain trails. Which go straight up via stone steps. Switchbacks are pretty much unheard of. While you stop to gasp for breath you will probaby be passed energetically by someone much older than you. Who, if s/he lives on the mountain (some folks do, usually shamans or monks living in hermitages), may be be carrying groceries.

Dessert

Forget the Euro-American folktale that dessert doesn’t exist in Asia. This is gloriously not true. There are wonderful sticky rice treats filled with sweet bean paste (they’re called omanju in Japan, chal duk in Korea) and they’re really good; if you don’t believe me ask my three year old granddaughter who loves them. The best local chocolate is smooth as silk. It will probably be milk chocolate (although dark chocolate is becoming popular) and you can get it with interesting flavorings (like kimchee or sweet potato or pomegranate or ginger…). Some of the best French pastries I’ve eaten were in Seoul. And there are wonderful adaptations of western baking — the texture and flavorings slightly more delicate — including great hybrids, such as dinner rolls with sweet bean paste inside. Supermarkets have extensive candy and bakery sections. And you don’t have to go to Asia to get this stuff — large Asian groceries in this country will have it.

Graphics

Japanese graphics are terrific and they are everywhere in Japan. One of my granddaughter’s favorite presents from Japan is a flyer I got at a regional airport depicting a customs agent and an evil-looking smuggler. Another is the package the omanju came in, complete with a booklet of strange looking creatures. I bought lots of candy in the grocery store as gifts because the packaging was so cool.

If you have to spend 6 hours in an airport

The Seoul/Incheon airport is a good place to hang out. Good views of the hills, terrific food (if you avoid the American fast food), good regular shopping, fine and reasonably priced Korean gift shops, very helpful information desk staff, and comfortable chairs. Of course that’s the only big Asian airport I’ve been in, maybe this kind of thing is standard.

A natural wonder nobody talks about

Between Incheon and Seoul is a huge bay filled with sparkling water and sailboats — miles and miles of sparkling water, endless water and sailboats and a few really small islands with vegetation. Until the tide goes out and then there are miles and miles of mud flats, endless mudflats and a few raised tufts of land with vegetation. It’s amazingly beautiful in both incarnations.

“Everyone speaks English”

No they don’t. Why should they? I found people wanting to be incredibly helpful in out of the way places, but it took a considerable effort on both our parts to make it work.

When you fly

Check with people who’ve flown the airline you want to fly. Service and accomodations vary greatly and when you’re on an airplane over the Pacific for anywhere from 8 to 11 hours these things make a difference. Do the seats go back a decent amount? Is there leg room? How’s the entertainment? (Korean Air has lots of great music choices; I was one happy camper with the stuff piped through my Bose noise silencing headphones.) How’s the food? And do you get that nice refreshing hot towel towards the end of the flight, or just a chintzy sanitizing towel soaked with chemicals? The good airlines will give even the folks in the very back of the plane things like slipper socks and sleeper masks.

Happy travelling!