BoomerGirl Diary

Dear Susan:

We have a blended family and it sometimes feels like we’re in that blender: all stirred up.

We have two kids going to be seniors in high school, and then two younger ones (fourth & fifth grades). We’ve been together for three years, but have never managed a full family vacation. We can get along but I can’t see us all sharing one cabin out at Estes and hiking happily up the mountain.

The kids like the ocean, like to travel. But we also do better with some routine. Having to choose a restaurant can take an hour and someone is always disappointed. I want to go somewhere where it’s a vacation for me too, and every time we go away (mostly the three youngest kids) we end up in a cabin where I’m cooking. Last year was the final straw: I was sitting in a Laundromat in Utah, I’d spent an hour in the grocery store, and I still had to cook dinner for 5 people in a mini-kitchen at the budget hotel. That is NOT a vacation.

I have money put aside my Dad gave me ($6,000) and I want one great memory of our family before the oldest go off.

Since you do travel and advice I thought I’d see what you had to say.

Need a Break

Dear Need–a-Break:

Five kids of different ages and interests. One vacation. And a mom in desperate need of some pampering. NO cooking, cleaning, laundry. OK for ocean, willing to try something new.

And where is the Dad in this picture? Never mind, I’ll just stick him in the same room as you and let nature take its course.

Here are some guidelines;

1. Do not expect to spend all the time together. Go separate ways and then gather to share what you did.

2. Lots of variety for different ages and interests. Just because Dad likes history museums does not mean kids will.

3. No one gets stuck with chores… so no more cabins.

4. Talk about expectations before you go away to make sure everyone has realistic rather than impossible to achieve goals.

5. No guilt. If a kid wants to sleep in, and it’s not keeping the whole family stuck, let them.

6. Ditto for parents. Have time alone. Give the kids space and take some yourselves.

I’d say a week at an all-inclusive resort with a kid program… but that can get frightfully expensive. The best all-inclusive deals right now in travel are at sea. Cruises are a bargain. There are lots of ships, and last-minute empty rooms go cheap. Last minute can be 3 months ahead or in a few weeks. And booking a year ahead also gets good deals,

You will have some special needs… like for adjoining rooms as the kids are not over 21 and cruise lines have rules about kids not being in rooms alone. BUT they usually do OK with adjoining rooms.

Book a line that caters to families (Royal Caribbean, Disney, Carnival, etc.) vs. the ones that are more for mature guests (Holland America, Cunard.) Rates will be more competitive also. With some research, you can get a 7 night Caribbean cruise for $500-700 per person. That includes all meals, all on-ship activities, nightlife, all-day “Kid Clubs” for the younger ones (with fun, enthusiastic camp counselor types making kids happy.) It doesn’t include alcohol or tips (which run $8-10 pp per day), and can be paid in one lump at the end. 3rd and 4th people in rooms are even less… so the kids bunk together and the rates for two of them could be $350 each for the week.

What’s great about cruises is that people can do what appeals to them all day and then meet for a lovely dinner at night with an expansive menu and waiters who aim to please even picky-eater kids. On shore days, just get off and grab a cab to the nearest great beach for the day. Pack some foldable coolers and you can bring a picnic from the ship. (Order room service at midnight, wrap up the sandwiches in some foil, put in the room frig and …voila! … picnic is ready to go in the morning.)

Here’s what it will be like for you: every day your cabin will be picked up and the bed made. This will also happen in the kids’ room. You can eat what you want when you want. So will your kids. And you won’t lift a finger for any of this. No cooking, cleaning, laundry, driving, worrying. If the kids want three steaks and no veggies, it will happen. There will never be any other charges for special requests. The kids can get pizzas at midnight. No charge. What this means is that you don’t have to say “no” very much at all. You can have a week of being the nicest mommy in the world.

You can lie by the pool, get a massage, read a book on one of the deck chairs in the quiet zone, take an afternoon nap … dancing in the atrium before dinner, watching the stars over the ocean.

I’d budget $3,500 for the cruise (plus or minus the tips). Then $1,000-1,500 for airfare (RT to Florida ports is often $225 or so). Look at airfares first and that could help you decide on a port. Go to Vacationstogo.com and check their 90-day ticker to see rates for cruises up to three months out. Talk personally to one of their agents. Ask lots of questions. They have very helpful agents.

So, that’s what I think. Kids love ships, they love the freedom to explore and still be safe. There is something for everyone. Plenty of family time without feeling locked in together.

It could make just those memories you crave.