BoomerGirl Diary

Just how wonderful could life on planet Earth be if each of us loved ourselves more?

I had this "a-ha" moment during my grandmother’s funeral in 1999. I heard the priest’s monotone voice as he stated that my grandmother “loved her neighbor as herself,” and I kind of chuckled to myself.

My grandmother wasn’t the kindest neighbor on the block, but that’s a whole ‘nother story … Anyway, time truly seemed to stand still for me as I pondered (a) how hard it must be for priests to eulogize people they don’t know well, and (b) WOW! That’s it! That’s what’s wrong with the world! We don’t love ourselves enough to really love our neighbors. Maybe it’s a chicken and egg thing, but for me the focus of this religious teaching had always been on the "love your neighbor" part. I was having an epiphany: what I needed, what my family needed and what the world needed was for each of us to learn - somehow - to like ourselves more, to be kinder to ourselves- more forgiving and more accepting.

As I write this, I appreciate that this idea isn’t all that profound.

We’ve heard it before, read it before and most of us just glaze over with discomfort at the prospect of it all. But the idea wouldn’t leave me alone and when I followed my instincts and simply opened up to the idea of liking me more, profound changes began to occur. Soon I began to contemplate the implications of this idea on a grand scale. Could this love of the self lead to less road rage, illness, addiction, abuse, divorce, gang violence, crime, terrorism, war? Hmmm … how do we get there from here?

Well, what I propose is simple. Start each day by marrying yourself — say these vows to yourself:

On this day I accept me. I promise to be true to me for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I promise to honor and respect me, to love and to cherish me from this day forward as long as I shall live.

If these vows don’t feel authentic to you, write your own. Post them if you like or keep them hidden. Share the idea with others or keep it a secret. Whatever - however. Just do it, and watch your world change for the better.