BoomerGirl Diary

Note: This is the second of a three-part exploration of opening the heart as part of our spiritual journey. Read part one here.

In her book “Aging as a Shared Journey,” Dr. Monteen Lucas, an authority on psychogeriatric nursing says: “The pith of the (aging) journey is in the heartwork — the love, understanding, acceptance, and compassion that we bring to the adventure.”

A physically healthy heart needs to be free and fluid in order to ensure that the blood circulates around the body through the arteries and veins. Blockages to this flow can be damaging and fatal. (Heart disease, as indicated in my last column, is now the No. 1 killer of women in the US.)

Our emotional, spiritual heart needs attention, too. Many people close off areas of their heart due to emotional injury. Instead of fluidity, stagnation sets in. Our spiritual arteries harden and clog with unnecessary emotional clutter. As part of my spiritual heart-health regime, I have committed to the ongoing heartwork Dr. Lucas recommends.

Looking back, I think I performed my own emotional bypass surgery. I worked hard at convincing myself, and others, that I had it all together. I didn’t want to face the pain of the deeper inner journey. When I exhibited physical symptoms in my mid-forties and faced several major surgeries, I knew I needed to do some serious work. My body was a great messenger; it was signaling for help. I embraced ways to get support to heal holistically. In the UK, I worked with a homeopathic doctor who understood the connection between body, mind and spirit. Her gentleness led me to the point when I was able to admit I was a “resentment hoarder.”

“Eileen, do you know what resentment is?”

“Of course, I do. It’s a polite form of anger.”

“No. Resentment is the opposite of gratitude.”

“Resentment? Gratitude?”

Something resonated deep within me. I felt I was given a key to unlock my blocked heart. I invited this truth into my depths. The tears started slowly until the floodgates opened. I had one almighty cry — you know the sort? You don’t understand why it’s happening — you just know it comes in tidal waves and brings eventual lightness of being. My shoulders lifted; my chest area opened. The physical tension evaporated.

When the sobbing ceased, she said:

“Would you like me to pray?”

She placed her hand over my heart area.

“Gentle Spirit,” she prayed, “I give thanks for Eileen and her courage.”

The tears flowed; more gently this time.

“Give her the gift of gratitude.”

My Buddhist doctor helped me begin the journey of living with deep heart-felt gratitude.

When resentfulness surfaces, I place my hand over my heart and pray: “God, I acknowledge this feeling of resentment. I ask for the grace and courage to replace it with gratitude.”

I try to be thankful for the blessings of my life. I am a work in progress and my heart is learning to sing and dance with thankfulness.

How is your heartwork going?