BoomerGirl Diary

Mirror, mirror on the wall, am I sexy - flaws and all?

As mature women, we hopefully become wiser, more patient and infinitely more loving. The down side to maturing is that our bodies are no longer slim, tight and totally desirable to us or to our partners.

We couldn't live without gravity, but honestly, does it have to pull everything closer to the ground? I remember a time that I could take off my bra and my chest didn't fall into my drawers. Or, worse yet, when you lie on your back in bed and you are trying to look sexy, your boobs seem to keep finding their way into your armpits. It's really hard to lie there trying to look desirable and keep your breasts in position on your chest, suck in your tummy and keep your head up so your double chin doesn't show.

That's about the time that you notice the ceiling needs painting, and the erotic mood you were hoping for just turned into thoughts of redecorating your house.

Baby boomers are all over the chart in their progression through menopause. Some of you are experiencing hot flashes, or power surges, which is a more gentle term. You might be changing your nightie and the sheets several times a night because of night sweats. Many of us believe that these years aren't the best years for lovemaking because of all the changes we experience.

Quite the contrary is true.

We are no longer plagued with babies crying in the night or toddlers needing our constant attention. The kids can stay by themselves, allowing for an occasional night out with our honey. If you are lucky, your kids are at the age when they can drive themselves around, and you and your partner have the house alone for long periods of time.

Maybe you are one of the older boomers and your kids are long gone, so you have the luxury of chasing your partner naked through the house or making love in the family room when the mood may strike.

BUT there is that problem of body image and what you see when you look in the mirror. At this time our attitude makes all the difference.

Older women make wonderful lovers. We aren't (hopefully) afraid to speak up and say what we want and need. We aren't worrying about making fools of ourselves in front of that special someone. We know who we are, and we know what we can do.

We are aware that we have the power to turn our partner "on," and we know how to please him/her when we do get that person aroused. For many of us the main concern we have is how we think we look and whether we are proud of our body.

Not long ago I attended one of those survey meetings where a group of women get together to give opinions about a product. We were all strangers sitting in a room waiting to get started, when the door opened and a beautiful women entered. I say she was beautiful because of the way she carried herself, the confidence she had in who she was and the look of complete happiness on her face. She was about 5 feet, 4 inches tall and had to weigh at least 250 pounds. Her makeup was soft and lovely. Her outfit was fashionable, flowing and flattering to her figure. Her hair was attractively styled and framed her face perfectly. Feature for feature this was not an outstanding person, but the aura that surrounded her was unmistakable. This was a woman who had confidence in who she was, how she looked and she was proud of herself. She was a woman who would capture the attention of any audience, men or women. I have no idea how active her sex life might have been, but I guarantee you that she would not have a problem attracting a partner who would find her sexy and alluring.

Are those tight, slim bodies wasted on the young? Probably! But that doesn't mean that your baby boomer self can't be just as happy and just as proud of the woman you have become. Play up your best features, dress in a fashionable way to flatter your figure and wear an air of positive attitude and confidence.

It's spring - time to make those changes that you have been thinking about all winter. It's time to bring out the sexy, sensual person inside. Have you been thinking about washing away that graying hair? Is it time for a visit to the cosmetic counter of your favorite department store? How about a new hair style or try a French manicure? Maybe it's finally time to find a personal trainer, join a gym and get started on a regular exercise program?

If you aren't ready for that, you can always start with walking the family dog three or four times a week. Both of you would benefit from some fresh air. To improve your sex life, it's time to make some positive changes.

The image you portray to the world begins from within. It starts with how you feel about yourself. If you have confidence in the way you look, it will show. If you don't like the way you look, do something about it. Confident people are sexy people. People enjoy being around a woman who feels good about herself. Your partner will feel drawn to you and want to make love. You are a sexy woman. Start feeling it from the inside and the mirror will validate it for you.