BoomerGirl Diary

Fort Worth, Texas — Every family has a language all its own. You know what we're talking about — a vocabulary full of words like "majuberous" and "turkey letter" that make perfect sense in your own home but don't mean anything to the rest of the world.

That's what Paul Dickson believes. A dedicated word man, he's the author and editor of a new book called "Family Words: A Dictionary of the Secret Language of Families" (Marion Street Press, $14.95). It's full of made-up words — some of them laugh-out-loud funny — Dickson has collected from families all over the country, from "Aha" (something that turns up in an unexpected place) to "Zib" (the sound of an acetate tab being pulled from the tape on a disposable diaper).

Families have plenty. Here are some favorites:

GRISWOLD, v. — to rush through a museum or other attraction

(ex.: "I'm really hungry, so let's griswold that museum and then eat dinner.")

This word proves that you don't have to be related to have a family word. Efton Park, a math professor at TCU, invented this word with his former college roommate. It is, of course, a reference to the much-loved Griswold family from the "National Lampoon" series of comedies starring Chevy Chase — specifically, 1983's "Vacation," in which the whole family spends about three seconds at the Grand Canyon. There is no stopping to stand in awe. Chase's Clark Griswold simply nods his head at the Grand Canyon, and then — "OK, kids, let's go" — it's time to move on. We've been there.

WILSONIZE, v. — to take only half of the last slice, piece or serving of food at the table, in order to leave a portion for someone else.

(ex.: "There's one slice of pie left. Let's Wilsonize that thing and share it.")

Jerry Wilson grew up with four siblings, so there wasn't a lot of food left on the table after a meal. But instead of fighting over who would eat the last serving, the Wilson kids had a system: If you reach for the final portion, you cut it in half. That way, you leave a bit for someone else.

No one told the Wilson kids to do this. In fact, their mother never really noticed it — at least, until Jerry got married and his wife, Betty, marveled at the routine.

Soon, though, all that halving and slicing became a multi-generational family trait. It was passed down to the Wilsons' children, and now the grandchildren have picked up the habit of never taking "all" of the last serving. A grandchild came up with the term "Wilsonize."

"At family dinners," Betty says, "the children and grandchildren always 'Wilsonize' the last piece of food — often many times to see how small the serving can become until the last bite is eaten."

MEOW, interjection — Hey, it's me! or: I'm over here!

(ex.: "Where's Mom?" "Meow.")

If you're in a department store someday and you hear someone call out "Meow!" — well, it's probably a member of the Rios family.

Diana Rios, her husband, Juan, her parents and her children use "meow" as a multipurpose family word. They say it to greet each other. They say it on the phone when they call each other ("Hello?" "Meow."). And they use it to get another family member's attention in public.

It's a habit that started years ago, when Rios' children were young and tended to wander away in stores. For safety's sake, Diana didn't want to call out their names in public.

"I would say 'meow,' and they would turn around and find me," Diana says.

So practical. And now the kids are grown — but even today, when Diana gets separated from her family at a store, what does she do? Exactly.

"I just say 'meow' loud enough," she says, "and my son and husband locate me quickly."

HOTWAX, v. — to freak out about a situation. Often involves extreme anxiety, vocal outbursts and profuse sweating.

(ex.: "Honey, you don't have to hotwax about this. I'll vacuum it up.")

Janet Sparks of Arlington, Texas, and her family have used this word for years, ever since her dad had a little meltdown on a road trip.

Here's what happened: Janet's parents, Joyce and Elmer Catling were visiting from New Jersey and were driving up the Interstate. Joyce Brown, rode with them, and Janet and her husband, Wayne Sparks, followed in their own car.

Elmer had just gotten the car washed and waxed. When a sudden Texas thunderstorm sent sheets of water down over the car, the wax on the windshield made it nearly impossible to see.

That's when the hotwaxing began.

Elmer was driving so erratically, Wayne and Janet pulled up alongside his car to see what was going on.

"We pull up beside him, and he's got his face three inches from the windshield," Janet says.

Elmer's sweating. He's muttering "Hot wax, that hot wax!" over and over, blended with some colorful language. And Janet's sister — well, she is in the back seat, gesturing frantically through the window: "Help me! Get me out of this car!"

Ever since then, the family has used "hotwaxing" to describe any similar sort of conniption.

"I have hotwaxed over party plans," Janet says. "My children have hotwaxed over job interviews. Hotwaxing is likely to occur during any stressful situation."

AMPHITHEATER, interjection — an expression shouted when someone asks a question and no one knows the answer

(ex.: "When are you going to make up your bed without being told?" "Um ... amphitheater!")

Submitted by Margaret Thibert.

"When my oldest daughter Kelly was in early high school, she brought home a boy who was very likable but definitely not a scholar. One day, they were sitting at the dining table playing Trivial Pursuit with her younger sisters. I overheard her answer a question about half-circular theaters in Greece with the word "amphitheater." The boy began to laugh uproariously, telling her that there was no such word and that she had made it up. I didn't dare chime in, because I didn't want to embarrass the kid. In later years, when anyone in our family asked a question that no one knew the answer to, someone was bound to shout, 'Amphitheater!' "

ANERMA, v. — to leave the newspaper in a state of disarray

(ex.: "Who anermaed the paper?")

Submitted by David Edwards.

"My family would often use a person's name as a verb to refer to a characteristic action. Apparently, there was an Aunt Erma somewhere in the family who wouldn't refold the newspaper when she was finished with it. I didn't know her, though, and I was probably 10 years old before I realized that "anerma" was not a real word."

By the way, Edwards' family still turns people's names into verbs. Since his childhood, to "David" has meant to drop food from a serving dish onto the table before you get it to your plate.

BABY DARLINGS, n. — shoulders

(ex.: "My baby darlings are sunburned.")

Submitted by Glenda Pruitt.

When my now-grown son, Kayle, was little, he cried a lot, and I would rock him, pat him on the back and evidently say, "Baby darling. ..." It was several years later, when he started talking, that we realized I had taught him well. For unto this day, we all know the anatomically correct name for shoulder is "baby darling"

BALL OF TWINE, n. — a small-time, out-of-the-way tourist attraction

(ex.: "What ball of twine are we going to visit today?")

Submitted by Dorothy Bullock.

"In May, my husband Tip and I took a vacation to California. I told him one day that we would be stopping to see the Bandera Crater and Ice Cave. He said, 'Oh, yeah, you're taking me to see that ball of twine I've heard about!'

"Ball of twine" now means any obscure, weird-sounding tourist attraction on a road trip. Each day, he would ask me what our 'ball of twine' for the day would be."

BOING, n. — a twist tie used for plastic bags

(ex.: "Hand me a boing so I can tie up this bag.")

Submitted by Linda Jones.

"When he was 2 years old and learning new words, my son Steven picked up a bread twist tie with two fingers and began to thump it. He thought it went "boing, boing, boing." A bread twist tie has been called a "boing" ever since: 'Where's the boing?' 'Hand me the boing for the bread.' 'Get a boing to close that bag.'

My son was in college with his first apartment when I got a call one day. He had asked his roommate to hand him a "boing." Of course, the roommate had no idea what he was talking about. My son just "knew" that "everyone" called them "boings."

CLO, n. — a single article of clothing

(ex.: "I'm not getting her anything extravagant for her birthday. Maybe just a clo.")

Submitted by Patsy Vawter.

"My two sisters and I invented the word "clo" to mean a single item of clothing. For example, we might be discussing our mom's birthday and what we were going to buy for her. If we were going to get an item of clothing, but hadn't decided what yet, we would say, 'I'm going to get Mom a "clo" for her birthday.' Or as a suggestion for ourselves: 'I'd like a clo for Christmas.' I'm 60, and my sisters Karen, 58, and Kathy, 55, use that word to this day."

FORNIAN, n. — a snuggly blanket used for warmth or comfort

(ex.: "It's cold in here. Will you hand me that fornian?")

Submitted by Greg, Chris and Barrett Green.

"Years ago, Grandma sent our toddler son (Barrett) a garish comforter covered with the California Raisins characters. One day he asked for his "fornian" and we didn't know what he wanted. He came out of his room dragging that hideous thing.

"Barrett and his trusted sidekick, Muffin — his dog — nested down every night under that thing, regardless of the season. Even at 3, he knew who those Raisin characters were.

"Today, if anyone in our family wants a blanket, a throw, or some other cover, we just ask for a "fornian." That includes our toddler boy, who is now 6 feet 4 inches and 20 years old."

HARKLE, n. — a flashlight

(ex.: "It's so dark, I'm going to need a harkle.")

Submitted by Merle and Dan Small.

"When our son, Brad, was about 3 years old, his aunt Linda had a brightly colored flashlight that he wanted in the very worst way. She told him if he could spell it, he could have it. Without hesitation, he shouted: 'H-R-K-L.' His aunt immediately said, 'That's right, it's a harkle!' Since that day, over 30 years ago, all flashlights have been called "harkles" by our family."

JERRY, interj. — shut up and listen to me

(ex.: "So — " "So I was — " "Anyway, so I was — " "I was — I — "JERRY!"")

Submitted by Beth Ford.

"When my friend from another state came to visit, we talked continually. My husband tried to join the conversation, but we never stopped talking long enough for him to get the chance. He was trying to start a sentence with the word "Jerry," (the name of) an old friend. Finally he yelled in a loud voice, 'Jerry!' Now, when we try to get someone's attention, we yell, "Jerry!"

MAMATROCIOUS, adj. — describes a meal made from a terrible new recipe Mom is trying

(ex.: "What's for dinner? It smells like something mamatrocious.")

Submitted by Cathy Stuhlman.

"This means 'Mama has tried a new recipe and it is atrocious.' One of my sisters came to stay with us for a few days. One of the days, she asked what was I making for supper. When I told her I was trying a new recipe, my daughter, who was then 5, said, 'Oh, no, not another "mamatrocious" supper!' It got quite the chuckle and has stuck ever since."

NOONEY, adj. — describes an article of clothing worn backward

(ex.: "Oh, no, sweetie, go back inside and turn your shirt around. It's nooney.")

Submitted by Suzie Collier.

"It all started back in the 1910s at my grandmother's house in Alabama, when a little boy named Billy Nooney lived down the street. Billy always had some item of clothing on backward when he left his house for school. ...

All my aunts and uncles grew up with the understanding that "nooney" meant something was being worn backward — and they passed it along to their children. Now we're passing it along to OUR children and grandchildren."

PIGAMARAT, n. — a family member caught doing something greedy

(ex.: "Some pigamarat drank the rest of the chocolate milk.")

Submitted by Bettye and John Sherwood.

"Our four children — Suzi, Mike, Nancy and Jeff — liked to go trick-or-treating. Jeff (about 8 years old) collected the most candy, which he stashed," Bettye said. "I kept eating it, and when he noticed the cache was dwindling, he confronted his brothers and sisters with an angry, 'Who is the "pigamarat" that has been stealing from me?' Sadly, I had to confess.

"Now, when something mysteriously disappears or smacks of greed, (the accused) family member is automatically dubbed a 'pigamarat'."

SAVING YOUR NECK, v. — refusing another serving of the main course at a meal, in preparation for dessert

(ex.: "No thanks, no more for me. I'm saving my neck for dessert.")

Submitted by Margie and Ray Gammon.

"For the last 70 years, our family has been using the phrase 'save your neck' or 'saving your neck' at the dinner table to indicate that you were not going to eat any more of the main meal because you were 'saving your neck' for dessert. Ray's only brother, in 1936, used the phrase for the first time because he imagined that you would fill up while eating. So he said he was 'saving his neck for some pie.' My grandchildren now have adopted the term."

SHAWN BRADLEY, n., interjection — the reaction to that awkward moment when someone makes a joke in public and it doesn't get the expected laugh

(ex.: "... so then the sheep says, 'No, that's baa-a-ad!' Get it? Baa-a-d?" "Ooh. Shawn Bradley.")

Submitted by Heather Madis.

"It started at a 50th anniversary party for my grandparents. My dad was roasting them and compared my granddad's height to Shawn Bradley's. (Bradley is the 7-foot, 6-inch former center for the Dallas Mavericks). No one in the room laughed; all you could hear was the swishing of oxygen tanks. "We" still get a laugh out of it — years later."

TTMB, acronym — I love you

(ex.: "Bye, Mom. TTMB.")

Submitted by Renee Owens.

"As a single parent, I have a very close relationship with my son. When he was in middle school and becoming more social and having friends over, we came up with our secret word. Instead of either one of us having to say we loved each other in front of friends and embarrassing him, we say "TTMB", which means 'I love you to the moon and back.' My son is now away at college and we still use "TTMB" while talking on the phone, sending text messages and in correspondence."

WELL, I MARINATED IT!, declaration — hey, give me some credit, too

(ex.: "Hey, great job on organizing the family reunion, sis." "Well, "I" marinated it!")

Submitted by Carolynn B. Williams.

"My daddy used to barbecue. Of course, Mother did all the preparation. When our family ate the barbecue (and) Daddy received all the compliments, Mother would say, 'Well, I marinated it!'

"Now, when my siblings or I receive a compliment and one of us has had a part in the reason for the compliment, we say, 'Well, I marinated it!' We have had a lot of fun with that phrase — behind Mother and Daddy's back, of course!"

TRUNKSTER, n. — a package-laden shopper who offers false hope that she is about to vacate a prime parking space in a crowded lot. Instead of pulling out, she simply deposits some bags in the trunk and goes back to the store.

(ex.: "I can't believe we waited five minutes for that trunkster's parking space.")

Mary Louise Jensen invented this word with her four daughters (Mary Ann O'Brien, Patty Jensen, Barbara Roy and Nancy Skopp) when the girls were teens.

She remembers circling through mall parking lots with a carload of teen-age girls, getting tricked by trunksters again and again.

"We've all been there," Jensen says — and it's true. You know how frustrating it is when you think you've spotted a departing shopper near the store's entrance — and then, after making you wait, the lucky shopper waves you on. That trunkster.