BoomerGirl Diary

Q: Everybody says that couples need to make time for each other and spend time together. Well that sounds great and it's pretty easy to do in the beginning. But what about us who are married, have two jobs and kids? How in the heck are we ever gonna spend any time together?

A: I'm glad you asked this question because I get this one a lot. Many so-called relationship experts will tell you that you need to spend time together and even offer you a few tips that may sound good but work only in a perfect world and not the one we live in.

So first I'm going to give you some practical reasons to spend time together and then I am going to give you some practical and useable tips for spending time together.

Benefits of spending time together

Your relationship will last longer — One of the biggest causes of relationships ending is partners becoming strangers to each other. When you spend quality time together you can avoid becoming strangers.

You will be happier in your relationship — When you feel understood by your partner and you understand your partner, it is one of the best feelings in the world.

It's a great model for the kids — When your kids see you spending time together, it helps them to feel secure and is a great model for how people can be together.

How to spend time together

• Schedule and protect — Think about an appointment at work that you would not break unless you were dead or in the hospital. It is sad that we have to do it this way, but in our crazy, over-scheduled and fast paced world, it is just the reality of our lives. Whatever regular time together you schedule, protect it, protect it, protect it.

• Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly — Too many couples act like they believe you can go 50 weeks a year and then spend a week together and believe that will

1. Fix everything, and

2. Last for a year.

Carve out a small bit of time each day in which you just talk with each other and be together. One way to do this is have some kind of inspirational book (a Chicken Soup book, a devotional, etc) that you read together and to each other each day. That's five minutes that anyone can find and protect.

Whether it is weekly or monthly or somewhere in between, every couple needs a date night. Not only does it give you the opportunity to have fun, it gives you a regular time to count on. The benefit of this is really amazing.

Knowing that you will have a time to connect, have fun with, and share the events of your lives is a powerful thing to look forward to for a couple.

And if you are running out of ideas for cheap fun dates, I invite you to check out www.GreatDatesDoneCheap.com

These changes won't "just happen" because you read this article. These changes can happen when you decide to include them in your life no matter what. Which ones can you take steps toward before your head hits the pillow tonite? Which ones can you and your partner commit to no matter what?

Thanks for reading, and now go use this stuff!