BoomerGirl.com

Fresno, Calif. — There was a time in Cheryl Dieter's life when she thought being the mother of one child would be enough.

"I wanted to travel the world," the freelance writer says. "I thought I wouldn't be able to that with children."

Today, Cheryl and husband Dave are parents to five. Ross, 24, and Kylee, 17, are "homegrown," as Cheryl puts it, and Karson, 6, Kullen, 5, and Kellis, 3, were adopted from Korea.

I recently met Cheryl at her home in Visalia, Calif. Her heartfelt short story, titled "He's Yours," is among a collection of stories featured in the new book "Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul" (Health Communications, $14.95).

The Dieters' home shows the telltale signs of children. There's a miniature car under Cheryl's feet as she sits on the sofa. Kellis, an aspiring princess, asks to have her dress changed to something pink. She carries a shiny wand as she walks around the living room.

Cheryl continues her story after her daughter's wardrobe change.

Although at one point the couple was happy with just two children, they later changed their mind.

However, "we had fertility issues," she says. "We tried the process of domestic adoption, but it didn't work out."

The couple pursued international adoption. As previous travelers to Asia, the couple felt an affinity to the Korean culture.

"They have strong family values," she says. "They're supportive of the arts."

Working through an adoption agency, the couple underwent the customary fingerprinting and background check.

"There's tons of paperwork," she says. "We had to provide four letters of recommendation to attest to `being of good character.' We also had to provide tax records."

The couple, who have been married 20 years, took required adoption classes to evaluate whether they were ready to adopt.

"You have to look at your strengths and weaknesses," she says. "You can't be delusional. It's really important for the husband and wife to be on the same page. The last thing these kids need are for the parents to not stay together."

Overall, the Dieters felt prepared to welcome a Korean child into their home. But there were things they hadn't considered.

"I didn't realize the implications of a transracial adoption," Cheryl says. "In some areas of the country, my children will be treated poorly just because of their race. I really didn't comprehend it."

Kullen came home at 10 months old, Karson at 6 months and Kellis at 7 months. Both adopted Dieter boys are autistic.

Once home, the couple learned the true test of being adoptive parents. Despite adoption agencies' soft-focus images of immediate bonding, the couple found themselves dealing with Reactive Attachment Disorder. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Web site states that children with the disorder "exhibit detached and unresponsive behavior" and have "difficulty being comforted."

Cheryl says most couples assume their baby will automatically bond with them.

"The attachment just doesn't automatically happen the instant the baby is placed in your arms," she says. "The child, who has lost his birth mom and culture, has to learn to trust you. The bonding process takes time."

I would have never guessed Cheryl and Dave Dieter had experienced such early turmoil. During the interview, Kullen wraps his arms around his mother's neck and says, "I love you."

"We have been facing challenges head-on," she says.

She bristles when well-meaning strangers tell her how lucky her children are to have been adopted.

"We are not saints for doing this," she says. "I wanted to be a parent again. I'm the lucky one."