Wednesday, July 16, 2008
In August, my two chicks will fly back to my precious empty nest. I'm not that upset about it, but this piece in the Orange County Register makes me wonder whether I should be charging my little chickadees room and board by formal agreement.
Here's the deal:
My boy (a 26-year-old man, technically) has been living abroad since January and will need "a couple of weeks or so" - his words - to get reacclimated and find other living arrangements. His father and I expected this, and we're fine with moving a bed back into our office/exercise/music room to ease his stateside transition.
My daughter, 23, is boomeranging - with our blessing - in order to save money (her rent and expenses last year stretched the ol' paycheck too thin) and to leave her travel options open for next summer, something a one-year lease would prohibit.
After reading the Register's story, I felt better about my situation in that I'm certainly not alone. And, besides, I really enjoy my kids. They've always gotten along famously with each other, and with us. And I've never liked the idea of families being spread out all over the country, if not the world. That said, I am going to take the suggestions of John L. Graham, author of "Together Again: A Creative Guide to Successful Multigenerational Living," to heart:
From the Orange County Register article by Mary Ann Milbourne:
* Meet in advance. It's best to choose a neutral location, perhaps a restaurant, so the meeting establishes the new relationship as adult-to-adult.
* Put it in writing. A formal written agreement should spell out all the issues.
* Length of stay. Determine an initial time period, perhaps six months or a year.
* Household finances. Agree on what, if any, financial contribution will be made or work done in lieu of money.
* Shared responsibilities.These include cooking, dishes, laundry and lawn work.
* Personal preferences.These include neatness, smoking, noise and pets
* Taking stock. Set a meeting date, perhaps monthly, to review the situation and gauge how it's going.
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