BoomerGirl Diary

LindaUpstill (anonymous) says...

Cathy,

Thank you for highlighting the importance of advance directives. All individuals over 18 should have a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions in place. I watched your program on Channel6 and was pleased to have this very important issue brought before the Lawrence community. However, it was disappointing that the information didn't come directly from our Lawrence group, Lawrence Area Coalition to Honor End-of-Life Choices (CHEC), but highlighted the Center for Practical Bioethics and Bill Colby. I am a huge fan of Mr. Colby, but CHEC has been active in the community since 2001. We present quarterly informational programs about this very issue and provide the opportunity to have your directives notarized. We also emphasize the importance of having conversations with your family and friends about your choices.

Additionally, we have a Resource Center in the Lawrence Public Library entrance. The Resource Center provides information on advance care planning and many informational pieces regarding chronic illness and caregiving. Members of our coalition have been trained and are pleased to provide programs about this information, free. Our web site is www.lawrenceareaCHEC.org. It is always disappointing when a local group contacts the news media in this community, repeatedly, and we are not given coverage, yet a group in Kansas City receives coverage.

Again, thank you for highlighting this important issue, but please consider contacting your local volunteer organization next time.

Sincerely,
Linda Upstill, Chair
Lawrence Area CHEC

May 12, 2008 at 7:52 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

LindaUpstill (anonymous) says...

Cathy, thank you for the clarification. I was aware this was an international site, and I guess I was surprised by the coverage on Channel6 not reflecting local information, without giving thought to the coverage area. I would be happy to visit with you any time about this issue. We would love additional local coverage for our programming. I also would be happy to forward information about our group, i.e. history and current programming. Thanks again for the awareness to ALL!

May 12, 2008 at 9:20 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

patmcq (anonymous) says...

I'm very glad you have brought up this topic. It is, indeed, a difficult discussion to initiate, though we took advantage of sad conflicts surrounding Terri Schiavo a few years back to have our family discussion. Still, an advanced directive can be horribly difficult to activate, as my brother and I learned this past December when our 97 year old mother suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke.

As Mom's doctor said to me, "Pat, this is when that piece of paper takes on real meaning." Intellectually, I knew that, but I guess I had assumed that I would have to implement that directive only if Mom were brain dead or comatose. She wasn't, though her 97-year-old brain had been horribly and irrevocably damaged by a stroke.

My brother and I were fortunate that Mom had a doctor who was willing to consult with us. "You need to make a decision that you can explain to the boys [my nephews/my brother's sons] a decade from now," he said. "And you have to be able to explain it without regret." He was also willing to share the science with us. I remain astounded that we could sit in a conference room and watch layer after layer of brain peel away on the same computer screen where someone else might play a game of solitaire.

I needed no interpretation to know what we were seeing when a massive change of color appeared on the screen. "Devastating," was the doctor's comment to himself, as he took an extra moment to review the damage before turning back to us. That was the only emotional "slip" the doctor made. He cared tremendously for my mom, which was a great consolation to me, but I also knew that he was a scientist to a fault. He made absolutely sure that the decision would be ours and ours alone.

With difficulty, we made it. As my brother reminded me, "We can't think of ourselves; we have to think of Mom." We invoked the advanced directive on Dec. 12 to be activated Dec. 15 in order to give my nephews a chance to return to see Gram one last time. She died Dec. 20, after receiving the wonderful care of the palliative care staff at Lawrence [KS] Memorial Hospital.

May 12, 2008 at 3:56 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )

patmcq (anonymous) says...

I've said that it was one of the few times that science helped me make an ethical/moral decision, but it really did. That CAT scan made all the difference in the world at that moment. It also helped that my brother and I were on the "same page"--that we were close enough to Mom that we knew her wishes. (Her advance directive was over a decade old, so it was good that we had discussed such things more recently.) And it helped that my very close friend is a nun who has, of necessity, become sort of an expert with end-of-life decisions as her community ages. She had also had hospice training and was able to walk me through what would happen with Mom day by day. Finally, it was VERY helpful for me that I had sat in on Mom's appointments with her doctor. As a result, I knew how much they cared for each other. That was tremendously consoling to me throughout her last days.

May 13, 2008 at 11:35 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )