Me too. After 29 years, I divorced 3 years ago. The sad and lonely do creep in occasionally, then go away; come back in waves and then go away. Less strongly than at the beginning, but still there.
I went through a divorce 3 years ago after 29 years of marriage. I wanted the divorce, but to my surprise, it still was a difficult thing to go through. Besides the divorce, I had a newly "empty nest" as both kids were in college, and all family out of state, mother getting ill with Alzheimers. I describe it best as, "I feel like an orphan."
Of course it's good to stay busy. But you have to talk about it. I didn't, and I suffered until I saw a therapist. I found married girlfriends didn't/don't get it. "Glad it's not me" or "Oh, it's not that bad". They have no idea. They have not felt it or lived it. And some of them just want to keep you away from their husbands.
I am coming to realize that it's not men and marriage who will "save me", help me get to that place where I feel comfortable in my situation. It's other women. Women who have been there, done that. I can always get a date, get laid if that's what I want. But women will be my saving grace. Now I just have to locate some. I live in a suburban area of families raising children. Not lots of singles.
Yes, just put one foot in front of the other and live. But sometimes the loneliness, the "Oh my God, what am I going to do all by myself" gets me in spurts, in pangs, then subsides again.
I know you posted a long time ago. I hope this helps. Keep in touch if you like.
ALogan (anonymous) says...
Me too. After 29 years, I divorced 3 years ago. The sad and lonely do creep in occasionally, then go away; come back in waves and then go away. Less strongly than at the beginning, but still there.
On Friend in need - do groups help?
July 6, 2008 at 1:19 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
ALogan (anonymous) says...
I went through a divorce 3 years ago after 29 years of marriage. I wanted the divorce, but to my surprise, it still was a difficult thing to go through. Besides the divorce, I had a newly "empty nest" as both kids were in college, and all family out of state, mother getting ill with Alzheimers. I describe it best as, "I feel like an orphan."
Of course it's good to stay busy. But you have to talk about it. I didn't, and I suffered until I saw a therapist. I found married girlfriends didn't/don't get it. "Glad it's not me" or "Oh, it's not that bad". They have no idea. They have not felt it or lived it. And some of them just want to keep you away from their husbands.
I am coming to realize that it's not men and marriage who will "save me", help me get to that place where I feel comfortable in my situation. It's other women. Women who have been there, done that. I can always get a date, get laid if that's what I want. But women will be my saving grace. Now I just have to locate some. I live in a suburban area of families raising children. Not lots of singles.
Yes, just put one foot in front of the other and live. But sometimes the loneliness, the "Oh my God, what am I going to do all by myself" gets me in spurts, in pangs, then subsides again.
I know you posted a long time ago. I hope this helps. Keep in touch if you like.
On Looking for friends
July 6, 2008 at 1:17 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )