I would check out some outdoor groups, like ski clubs, hiking clubs and the like. That way, even if you don't meet someone, at least you will be out and about enjoying yourself and doing something fun.
You could also have get togethers at your house. Like an open house with h'ors doeuvres and drinks for a couple of hours on random Sat. evenings, and invite some of the women from your office and encourage them to bring someone besides their husbands.....like brothers, inlaws, etc..... Just increasing your circle of friends will help.
Well, I joined match.com, had a lot of interest from my profile. I wrote it as if I had just had a cup of coffe and a cute guy called and asked me to describe myself. It was a little funny and ended with a question. I refused to say I liked "fine dining" and "long walks on the beach" and "I'm a romantic at heart" Those things are SNORES!
I didn't however, meet anyone promising. One whom i thought was promising, turned out to be 20 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his picture (why do people DO that?) Lots of tatooed guys with pics of them standing next to a vehicle-car, boat or plane. I did have to go back in there and be more specific about who I was looking for. But nothing came of any of it.
I'm taking a break for now. I check in just to browse profiles every now and then...I feel like I'm shopping...someone may look promising, but there is always something that pops up in their profile that turns me off. Like if they're 47 and only want women up to age 35, or they only want someone with skinny ankles (not kidding!), or someone to ride their Harley with.....
"Facing decades of good years ahead of them, financially healthy and not constrained by the stigma of divorce that kept many of their mothers married, they make the leap."
This paragraph doesn't accurately reflect the typical divorcing woman, in my humble opinion. Most of the women I know who are leaving are doing it with young children and most are financially devasted by it, self included. I am facing years of poverty for my son and I. Because although I have years of experience in my field, increasingly, companies don't want to pay for that experience and I'm competing with 20 year olds who will work for 1/3 of my salary and can work 80 hour weeks, while I have to leave at 5 because there is no one else to care for the kids. the women I know who are financially "healthy" are staying put in unhappy marriages because they know they would never be able to replicate their standard of living on their own.
The one example of "Jeff" not telling his wife he was hanging out with a friend "Glen" because she "had asked Jeff not to see him" Are you kidding??? hahahaha!! i can't imagine my husband asking me not to see one of my friends. and then me saying "Alright." Right there, there is something wrong with the relationship--more than him hiding out about his friend.
And on the lying about purchases front, I know LOTS of women who do this. the excuses are "my husband has NO idea how much it costs to just live--clothing for the kids, etc...it would upset him so it's a kindness" And sorry, I do tend to agree with that one. I did that when I was married because my ex-husband was a control freak who questioned every purchase I made. And yes, we were both working. In contrast my mom, who never worked outside the home, was never questioned by my dad about any purchase. i.e. my parents had a better relationship.
So, I would say that these things are not "cheating" per se, but more symptoms of much larger problems in the relationship.
I must have an odd father (thankfully), I couldn't fine one card that suit him. He doesn't grill, hog the remote, burp, fart, drink, he's not bald and fat, and he's actually very eloquent. Nope, no cards for him out there....
This past one, is the first enjoyable Valentine's day I've had in years. I am currently very single, no one to even buy a card for, and I can't tell you how nice it feels not to have the pressure. I can remember last year, when my then boyfriend bought me something extravagant, and I, by virtue of joblessness, had only a card for him. I felt bad. and then later, he told me of his friend's girlfriend who had gotten her man a mohagany humidor....
You sound like you are in a nice state in your relationship. and I feel as though I'm in a nice state in the absence of one. Congratulations to both of us!
Oh, I've long wanted to send 'helpful comments' to men whose profiles I've cringed over. The one about men keeping their shirt on for photos is the best! So true!
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
I would check out some outdoor groups, like ski clubs, hiking clubs and the like. That way, even if you don't meet someone, at least you will be out and about enjoying yourself and doing something fun.
You could also have get togethers at your house. Like an open house with h'ors doeuvres and drinks for a couple of hours on random Sat. evenings, and invite some of the women from your office and encourage them to bring someone besides their husbands.....like brothers, inlaws, etc..... Just increasing your circle of friends will help.
Good luck!
On how do you get "out there"?
February 12, 2008 at 10:41 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
Well, I joined match.com, had a lot of interest from my profile. I wrote it as if I had just had a cup of coffe and a cute guy called and asked me to describe myself. It was a little funny and ended with a question. I refused to say I liked "fine dining" and "long walks on the beach" and "I'm a romantic at heart" Those things are SNORES!
I didn't however, meet anyone promising. One whom i thought was promising, turned out to be 20 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his picture (why do people DO that?) Lots of tatooed guys with pics of them standing next to a vehicle-car, boat or plane. I did have to go back in there and be more specific about who I was looking for. But nothing came of any of it.
I'm taking a break for now. I check in just to browse profiles every now and then...I feel like I'm shopping...someone may look promising, but there is always something that pops up in their profile that turns me off. Like if they're 47 and only want women up to age 35, or they only want someone with skinny ankles (not kidding!), or someone to ride their Harley with.....
Um...no thank you....
On Online dating
September 29, 2007 at 10:50 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
"Facing decades of good years ahead of them, financially healthy and not constrained by the stigma of divorce that kept many of their mothers married, they make the leap."
This paragraph doesn't accurately reflect the typical divorcing woman, in my humble opinion. Most of the women I know who are leaving are doing it with young children and most are financially devasted by it, self included. I am facing years of poverty for my son and I. Because although I have years of experience in my field, increasingly, companies don't want to pay for that experience and I'm competing with 20 year olds who will work for 1/3 of my salary and can work 80 hour weeks, while I have to leave at 5 because there is no one else to care for the kids. the women I know who are financially "healthy" are staying put in unhappy marriages because they know they would never be able to replicate their standard of living on their own.
Just what I've observed.
On Women who walk
June 24, 2007 at 12:28 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
The one example of "Jeff" not telling his wife he was hanging out with a friend "Glen" because she "had asked Jeff not to see him"
Are you kidding??? hahahaha!! i can't imagine my husband asking me not to see one of my friends. and then me saying "Alright." Right there, there is something wrong with the relationship--more than him hiding out about his friend.
And on the lying about purchases front, I know LOTS of women who do this. the excuses are "my husband has NO idea how much it costs to just live--clothing for the kids, etc...it would upset him so it's a kindness" And sorry, I do tend to agree with that one. I did that when I was married because my ex-husband was a control freak who questioned every purchase I made. And yes, we were both working.
In contrast my mom, who never worked outside the home, was never questioned by my dad about any purchase. i.e. my parents had a better relationship.
So, I would say that these things are not "cheating" per se, but more symptoms of much larger problems in the relationship.
On Infidelity and other ways to cheat
June 23, 2007 at 8:26 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
I prefer "my date du jour"
On Aren't we a little old to have a 'boyfriend'?
June 17, 2007 at 8:25 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
I must have an odd father (thankfully), I couldn't fine one card that suit him. He doesn't grill, hog the remote, burp, fart, drink, he's not bald and fat, and he's actually very eloquent. Nope, no cards for him out there....
I hate the stereotype.
On Silly over sentimental?
June 17, 2007 at 8:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
Oh to find the man who would live up to the beach vacation fantasy....THAT would be something!
On A Week in Paradise
March 12, 2007 at 10:43 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
This past one, is the first enjoyable Valentine's day I've had in years. I am currently very single, no one to even buy a card for, and I can't tell you how nice it feels not to have the pressure. I can remember last year, when my then boyfriend bought me something extravagant, and I, by virtue of joblessness, had only a card for him. I felt bad. and then later, he told me of his friend's girlfriend who had gotten her man a mohagany humidor....
You sound like you are in a nice state in your relationship. and I feel as though I'm in a nice state in the absence of one. Congratulations to both of us!
On Refusing to fake it on Valentine’s Day
February 18, 2007 at 8:32 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Pixanne (anonymous) says...
Oh, I've long wanted to send 'helpful comments' to men whose profiles I've cringed over. The one about men keeping their shirt on for photos is the best! So true!
On Seven tips for creating the perfect online dating profile
February 17, 2007 at 4:10 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )