Sometimes we just do not want to hear the things that are banging on the door. I for one can be very deaf to what God wants me to do. He, in his usual gentle way keeps knocking but eventually he realizes he has to do something to get my attention. I call this being hit with a wet fish. He does it when he wants me to do something and I really do not want to hear. Eventually I give in and listen. I know that everything God wants me to do will be good for me and good for his kingdom and that I will be blessed on the way. They are never easy things and always put me way out of my comfort zone but are so wonderful in the end. I think that deep in your heart you know what you want to do but you are not admitting it to yourself for one reason or anther. It could be that you are scared, that is will mean a change in some big way, a move to a different place, different people etc. You like it where your are, you know what each day will hold, how much money you will have etc. The new season may put all those thing out of kilter but when you finally know what it is and admit it you will be blessed in so many ways and so with those around you. You have talents God wants to use, you just have to admit it and give it to God. Good luck as it is not easy!
Thank you Eileen for your insight into death, you are so right about there being no person once the last breath has gone, somehow the personality of the person you knew is not there any more. I was very struck by that when my cat died; he was only two years old and fell to his death from a tree. His neck was broken but apart from that he looked good, but, the personality was gone, he was not his cheeky self any more, he was just a body with no life in it.
Gardening! That would be my way of spending time just connecting to the divine. I am very blessed as I live in a place with a very beautiful garden which allows me to potter and does not demand my time; it just sits there looking good until I decided that I want to give it some time. The great thing about gardening is that I get peace; no one else in the family will bother me as they may get a job to do so I get solitude. I also achieve something at the end of it too; there is a viable outcome to your peace.
It is funny how some of the simplest things you can do for someone is to just calmly be there and listen. I find it very hard just to be with people as I am such a fidget that I find it hard to sit still. There are times thought that I just have to put that feeling of wanting to get on with it, down and just wait. I am reminder of a situation that happened a couple of days ago where a 93 year old lady phoned the doctors surgery that I work in. She phoned three times that day and each time too ages to get to what she needed to say. We are taught many ways to politely bring a conversation to a close but this little lady just needed time to say what she had to. It was just something that needed time as there was not much we could do for her, the resolve of the problem law with her but she just needed to talk about it to get the whole thing straight in her mind. I wonder if "just being there" is one of the reasons that Grandparent/Grandchildren relationships are so special. I remember my grandmother with "just being there", she was not rushed and would sit and read to us for what seemed like hours. I will always remember the things she taught us and hopefully will do the same for my grandchildren. Thank you Eileen, your words will certainly be a help when I am in a situation that I feel just needs me to sit and be.
I too was raised to think that work was the most inportant thing there was, your day was a good one if you got a lot of work done. I think that this is not such a good thing as life and people can pass you by if you do not make an effort to slow down and enjoy the life we have. No one on their death bed is going to remember the work they did on any given day but they will rememeber the things that touched them. I hope I do not got to my grave with regrets that I did not enjoy the journey as much as I should.
It is so true, we way we look is a very important thing not only to us but to those around us. When reading your very entertaining piece I was reminded of a time that the outward image of someone was very off-putting to me. I went to a Christian women’s conference where there were about 3,000 ladies present. My friends and I sat down towards the stage on the right side In the row behind me there was a lady who kept commenting on things the speaker was saying, not awful things by any means; things like “praise the Lord” or “thank you Lord”. I found it so distracting and her voice so irritating that I could hardly concentrate on what the speaker was saying. When we broke for lunch I commented to my friends about how irritating it was having this lady speaking out all the time and what a dreadful voice she had. To my surprise they did not even hear her. After lunch we sat up at the back, I thought I would be safe and could now enjoy the rest of the talk. To my horror I looked to my right and one seat away from me was this lady, I could not believe it, when I pointed her out to my friends they asked me if I wanted to move and sit somewhere else. I thought for a minute then said “no, the only one who has a problem with this is me and I have to overcome this”. We listened for a while and then something the speaker said he me right in the soul. I did not know what it was but I started to cry, hot tears running down my face, I just sobbed. The lady I had so tried to get away from came and hugged me, held me tight and spoke words to me that reached into my soul, speaking to the hurt inside, soothing calming and ministering to me in a way that I have never had before. I do not know to this day what she said but I do know that it was God talking to my inner being; I could not even tell my friends what she had said. I found out later that the lady’s name was Suzanne. God had obviously put Suzanne there and drew her to my attention for a reason. If I had moved away from her because of the outer view that irritated me then I would have missed the blessing that she spoke into my life that day.
Thank you Eileen for this wonderful column. I think emotional pain can be such a hard thing to deal with. If we have a physical pain it is much easier to take some pain killers which will ease the pain and in time it will heal. The trouble with emotional pain is that if we take pain killers it just masks the pain and when they wear off then the pain is still there, the trouble also with pain killers is the danger to mask the pain and therefore allow the person to bury the pain which will no doubt show itself in time to come and not always as something we recognize as the original pain. Since I became a Christian I have dealt with a lot of the pain from my past, but it is a very painful experience and one which God has walked me through step by step. I hurt those around me and with God's help I now realize that I hurt people because I was hurting inside. At the time I did not know that I was hurting. Now when I look back on my treatment of others I am sorry that I did not realize at the time how awful I was. I do not know if it will help anyone but it may help them to understand when people are hurting them that sometimes it is a self defense mechanism. Possibly why abused becomes abuser. My sign is the humble Snowdrop. They are such gentle, insignificant flowers with their heads hung but when you look closely they are very beautiful indeed. I think that is true of all women. We are a wealth more precious than gold. We have such a wide capacity for coping with whatever the world throws at us. Somehow we get through and care about how others get through with us. I think all women have so much to offer to each other and that women should talk to other women about what hurts, pleases, touches us etc. With your hurting friends I think the only way you can help them is to be there for them. No one can go through pain for us but it sure helps to have someone in the Foxhole with us. (Foxhole were dug in the war to hold two people)
What a wonderful piece, thank you Eileen. I think I too have a lot of resentment in my heart, I do not know why exactly but after reading this I think I need to do some more digging and find out why?
Hi Eileen I think forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. We are called to forgive others, not for their sake but for ours. How often have we walked around with a burden on our shoulders, harbouring resentment towards someone who has hurt us. We feel somehow that by being angry we are punishing the other person for what they have done. Very often the hardest hurt to put down is the hurt our loved ones inflict on us. What do we do by not letting go of that pain? We hurt ourselves over and over again. The other person has moved on and probably does not even realise that they have hurt us. I constantly struggle with this, odly enought the ones I find hardest to forgive are my family. For some reason I expect more of them, I expect them not to hurt me, the reality is they do, and alsways will as they are people, and people hurt each other. One thing I have found helps me is to try and see things from that other persons point of view, ask myself did they do that to hurt me? Very often the answer is no, they just did something without thinking or for other reasons. This helps as I no longer see it as an insult on me personally. I am also struck by how much we are forgiven, how much Jesus took to that cross for me, my forgiveness is nothing compared to what he has forgiven me for. I thank him so often for that and will one day be able to tell him face to face.
Very good points. I will have to give some thought to the questions as I do not know the answers at this stage. It is interesting to consider what do we do to protect our hearts? What safeguards do we put in place to protect our hearts? Do we ever give our hearts completely or do we keep back just enought so that we can cope if something awfull happens? Heart diseas is a killer and interestinly people can die from just having a broken heart, they can just give up. Doctors say that the people who have not given up, survive things other people would not. Is that just becuse there heart is so set on being around for loved ones, pets, jobs etc. that they will fight to stay alive. I will consider your question and do a lot of asking of mysleft as to the answers. Thank you again Eileen for a very fulfilling piece. God bless you
Thank you for your wonderful posting. I find it reasuring they way you interduce yourself to people. That is something I too could do, it is just a good way to let people know your are a Christian and to open the door for them to approach you with questions. Thank you and may God bless you
daphne (anonymous) says...
Hi Eileen
Sometimes we just do not want to hear the things that are banging on the door. I for one can be very deaf to what God wants me to do. He, in his usual gentle way keeps knocking but eventually he realizes he has to do something to get my attention. I call this being hit with a wet fish. He does it when he wants me to do something and I really do not want to hear. Eventually I give in and listen.
I know that everything God wants me to do will be good for me and good for his kingdom and that I will be blessed on the way. They are never easy things and always put me way out of my comfort zone but are so wonderful in the end. I think that deep in your heart you know what you want to do but you are not admitting it to yourself for one reason or anther. It could be that you are scared, that is will mean a change in some big way, a move to a different place, different people etc. You like it where your are, you know what each day will hold, how much money you will have etc. The new season may put all those thing out of kilter but when you finally know what it is and admit it you will be blessed in so many ways and so with those around you. You have talents God wants to use, you just have to admit it and give it to God. Good luck as it is not easy!
On Where do I go from here?
March 1, 2008 at 8:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
Thank you Eileen for your insight into death, you are so right about there being no person once the last breath has gone, somehow the personality of the person you knew is not there any more. I was very struck by that when my cat died; he was only two years old and fell to his death from a tree. His neck was broken but apart from that he looked good, but, the personality was gone, he was not his cheeky self any more, he was just a body with no life in it.
Gardening! That would be my way of spending time just connecting to the divine.
I am very blessed as I live in a place with a very beautiful garden which allows me to potter and does not demand my time; it just sits there looking good until I decided that I want to give it some time. The great thing about gardening is that I get peace; no one else in the family will bother me as they may get a job to do so I get solitude. I also achieve something at the end of it too; there is a viable outcome to your peace.
God bless
Daphne
On Breath of life
November 11, 2007 at 12:56 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
It is funny how some of the simplest things you can do for someone is to just calmly be there and listen. I find it very hard just to be with people as I am such a fidget that I find it hard to sit still. There are times thought that I just have to put that feeling of wanting to get on with it, down and just wait.
I am reminder of a situation that happened a couple of days ago where a 93 year old lady phoned the doctors surgery that I work in. She phoned three times that day and each time too ages to get to what she needed to say. We are taught many ways to politely bring a conversation to a close but this little lady just needed time to say what she had to. It was just something that needed time as there was not much we could do for her, the resolve of the problem law with her but she just needed to talk about it to get the whole thing straight in her mind.
I wonder if "just being there" is one of the reasons that Grandparent/Grandchildren relationships are so special. I remember my grandmother with "just being there", she was not rushed and would sit and read to us for what seemed like hours. I will always remember the things she taught us and hopefully will do the same for my grandchildren.
Thank you Eileen, your words will certainly be a help when I am in a situation that I feel just needs me to sit and be.
On The gift of presence
September 12, 2007 at 8:26 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
Hi Eileen
I too was raised to think that work was the most inportant thing there was, your day was a good one if you got a lot of work done. I think that this is not such a good thing as life and people can pass you by if you do not make an effort to slow down and enjoy the life we have. No one on their death bed is going to remember the work they did on any given day but they will rememeber the things that touched them. I hope I do not got to my grave with regrets that I did not enjoy the journey as much as I should.
On Holy-days
August 21, 2007 at 5:19 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
Hello Eileen
It is so true, we way we look is a very important thing not only to us but to those around us.
When reading your very entertaining piece I was reminded of a time that the outward image of someone was very off-putting to me.
I went to a Christian women’s conference where there were about 3,000 ladies present.
My friends and I sat down towards the stage on the right side In the row behind me there was a lady who kept commenting on things the speaker was saying, not awful things by any means; things like “praise the Lord” or “thank you Lord”.
I found it so distracting and her voice so irritating that I could hardly concentrate on what the speaker was saying.
When we broke for lunch I commented to my friends about how irritating it was having this lady speaking out all the time and what a dreadful voice she had. To my surprise they did not even hear her.
After lunch we sat up at the back, I thought I would be safe and could now enjoy the rest of the talk. To my horror I looked to my right and one seat away from me was this lady, I could not believe it, when I pointed her out to my friends they asked me if I wanted to move and sit somewhere else. I thought for a minute then said “no, the only one who has a problem with this is me and I have to overcome this”.
We listened for a while and then something the speaker said he me right in the soul. I did not know what it was but I started to cry, hot tears running down my face, I just sobbed. The lady I had so tried to get away from came and hugged me, held me tight and spoke words to me that reached into my soul, speaking to the hurt inside, soothing calming and ministering to me in a way that I have never had before. I do not know to this day what she said but I do know that it was God talking to my inner being; I could not even tell my friends what she had said.
I found out later that the lady’s name was Suzanne.
God had obviously put Suzanne there and drew her to my attention for a reason. If I had moved away from her because of the outer view that irritated me then I would have missed the blessing that she spoke into my life that day.
On Photograph or masterpiece?
June 2, 2007 at 6:19 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
Thank you Eileen for this wonderful column.
I think emotional pain can be such a hard thing to deal with. If we have a physical pain it is much easier to take some pain killers which will ease the pain and in time it will heal.
The trouble with emotional pain is that if we take pain killers it just masks the pain and when they wear off then the pain is still there, the trouble also with pain killers is the danger to mask the pain and therefore allow the person to bury the pain which will no doubt show itself in time to come and not always as something we recognize as the original pain.
Since I became a Christian I have dealt with a lot of the pain from my past, but it is a very painful experience and one which God has walked me through step by step. I hurt those around me and with God's help I now realize that I hurt people because I was hurting inside. At the time I did not know that I was hurting. Now when I look back on my treatment of others I am sorry that I did not realize at the time how awful I was.
I do not know if it will help anyone but it may help them to understand when people are hurting them that sometimes it is a self defense mechanism. Possibly why abused becomes abuser.
My sign is the humble Snowdrop. They are such gentle, insignificant flowers with their heads hung but when you look closely they are very beautiful indeed. I think that is true of all women. We are a wealth more precious than gold. We have such a wide capacity for coping with whatever the world throws at us. Somehow we get through and care about how others get through with us. I think all women have so much to offer to each other and that women should talk to other women about what hurts, pleases, touches us etc.
With your hurting friends I think the only way you can help them is to be there for them. No one can go through pain for us but it sure helps to have someone in the Foxhole with us. (Foxhole were dug in the war to hold two people)
On Hit by an emotional truck
April 27, 2007 at 7:04 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
What a wonderful piece, thank you Eileen. I think I too have a lot of resentment in my heart, I do not know why exactly but after reading this I think I need to do some more digging and find out why?
On Opening the heart, Part two.
April 18, 2007 at 4:26 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
Hi Eileen
I think forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do.
We are called to forgive others, not for their sake but for ours. How often have we walked around with a burden on our shoulders, harbouring resentment towards someone who has hurt us. We feel somehow that by being angry we are punishing the other person for what they have done.
Very often the hardest hurt to put down is the hurt our loved ones inflict on us.
What do we do by not letting go of that pain? We hurt ourselves over and over again. The other person has moved on and probably does not even realise that they have hurt us.
I constantly struggle with this, odly enought the ones I find hardest to forgive are my family. For some reason I expect more of them, I expect them not to hurt me, the reality is they do, and alsways will as they are people, and people hurt each other.
One thing I have found helps me is to try and see things from that other persons point of view, ask myself did they do that to hurt me? Very often the answer is no, they just did something without thinking or for other reasons. This helps as I no longer see it as an insult on me personally.
I am also struck by how much we are forgiven, how much Jesus took to that cross for me, my forgiveness is nothing compared to what he has forgiven me for. I thank him so often for that and will one day be able to tell him face to face.
On Opening the heart, Part three.
April 18, 2007 at 4:14 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
Very good points.
I will have to give some thought to the questions as I do not know the answers at this stage. It is interesting to consider what do we do to protect our hearts? What safeguards do we put in place to protect our hearts? Do we ever give our hearts completely or do we keep back just enought so that we can cope if something awfull happens?
Heart diseas is a killer and interestinly people can die from just having a broken heart, they can just give up. Doctors say that the people who have not given up, survive things other people would not. Is that just becuse there heart is so set on being around for loved ones, pets, jobs etc. that they will fight to stay alive.
I will consider your question and do a lot of asking of mysleft as to the answers.
Thank you again Eileen for a very fulfilling piece.
God bless you
On Opening the heart, Part one.
February 23, 2007 at 6:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
daphne (anonymous) says...
Thank you for your wonderful posting. I find it reasuring they way you interduce yourself to people. That is something I too could do, it is just a good way to let people know your are a Christian and to open the door for them to approach you with questions.
Thank you and may God bless you
On Solid faith
February 16, 2007 at 2:56 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )