December 29, 2006
I need some help with this. A few solicited opinions are in order. My theory is that all of us need to be needed. At the same time, none of us can be expected to do it all. This is the idea of teamwork behind nearly every coaching euphemism. It was what Aristotle was getting at with his “organistic” ontology. None of us has significance outside the “organism” that we are simply, or merely, a part of.
So it’s not fair that I’ve been taking sh --, er, grief, that is, about running out of money, or more specifically, cash money. It was a weekend, and I’d forgotten to get cash from my secretary (hereinafter “Vada”), and I started Friday night with a twenty and a few ones. I would not see Vada again until Monday morning. Susan (sometimes known as my “wife”) was gone, out of town. No one trusts me with a checkbook, and I don’t know how to use the money machine. More specifically, I can only remember one password or number combination, and we can’t use it for everything, and certainly not the bank card. So I can’t get money unless someone is willing to give me some. Cathy, as in the BoomerGirl, thinks that is funny. She might use the word “ridiculous.” She demanded a column on the subject.
You may have noticed that every person referenced so far has been female. Is this a clue? Have I become too reliant upon wymyn? Am I dominated by, and overly dependent upon the feminine organs of the human organism?
Don’t jump to the conclusion I’m too stupid to know that some of you have already lynched me with a chauvinist sign on my chest. These are, it might appear, menial dependencies. I might be heard as bragging about the purely perfunctory tasks I’ve been able to foist onto the gullible women in my life. But, not so quick! Isn’t it really a case of like gravitating to like, isn’t there some teleology involved? The happy eye is the eye that sees; the screwdriver is happy only when it is driving screws into wood.
Chaucer did not invent the Wife of Bath, nor has her tale staled in the past 600 years. She wants “her way.” That way is paved with bricks of control. She demands, and happily holds the checkbook, the bank card, and other evidences of financial responsibility. As the vanquished knight, I can choose happiness only by accepting the nature of things. Isn’t that what I’ve done? Haven’t I chosen happiness for all of us? Am I funny, ridiculous, or merely the happy servant of a compelling nature?
Let me know.
Comments
Sunrise (anonymous) says...
Pssst. At least learn how to use the bank card. And, yes, use the same code numbers you use for everything else....except 1-2-3-4.
January 20, 2007 at 6:30 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mm56 (anonymous) says...
Dear Vanquished Knight (!) - I was actually happy to read this article, because around here the man controls the purse strings! Loved reading that your wife controls your funds, but even more, loved the way this is written and that you are able to laugh at your ATM ineptness. But didn't your mom ever teach you to pin some "mad money" in your sock?!
February 13, 2007 at 11:36 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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