BoomerGirl Diary

By Celia Rivenbark

Diane Keaton started it. Dropped the F-bomb right on "Good Morning America" just as Aunt Sudavee was biting into her first slice of raisin toast with Promise spread.

The ever-quirky Keaton, in her ubiquitous white suit, just couldn't help herself. Midway through a fluffy little plug for her latest movie, Keaton got caught up in some sort of faux lesbian girl-crush rant about the beauty of Diane Sawyer's lips and let slip the effenheimer. Oops. Her bad.

A couple of weeks later, just when Aunt Sudavee thought it was safe to return to morning TV, there was Jane Fonda dropping a bomb of her own. The Big Scary Worst One That Women Never Use.

Unlike Sawyer, who giggled and threatened to make Keaton eat soap, "Today" show host Meredith Viera returned from a hasty commercial break with a stiffly worded apology that somehow made it all worse. Sheesh. I haven't seen anything like that since Oprah took James Frey to the metaphorical woodshed for lying to her about his book being non-fiction. Fonda shouldn't have said it, but, in her defense, the Word So Vile That I Can't Even Cheat and Rhyme Something With It was the one-word title of her role in "The Vagina Monologues." (And speaking of Oprah, can we please get her to stop using the made-up word "Va-jay-jay" in every conversation? What are we? Two? I swear at this rate I fully expect Oprah to ask new mom Christina Aguilera if it's hard to find pretty blouses now that her "ninnie pies" are so big.)

Most recently, Kathleen Turner, another famous older actress who is on a promotional tour for her new autobiography, had to be bleeped by the censors after she coquettishly asked a local TV interviewer, "Can I say (bleep) on TV?" Well, uh, no. See Keaton and Fonda above.

So what's with the aging movie star potty mouth syndrome? Maybe they're tired of talentless twits like Kim Kardashian getting to say all the nasty stuff.

People always say that one of the perks of getting older is that you can get away with (stuff), really push the (flippin') envelope. I guess that's why Queen Elizabeth and Barbara Bush can hardly open their mouths without resorting to F bombs. What? You never noticed?

It's the same way you overlook the feebleminded. I'm thinking of poor motorcycle-brain-damaged Gary Busey as he inappropriately licked on Jennifer Garner at the Oscars. No worries, it's just Gary; he'll stop when he finally figures out she's not a Toaster Strudel.

So, rage on dames. Nobody except Meredith and a few humor-impaired FCC types will be too hard on you. Well. And maybe Aunt Sudavee.