BoomerGirl Diary

Since I’ve been a grandmother for nearly 12 years or in fact a “step-grandmother” for 12 years, I guess I’m used to it. My stepchildren have graciously granted me the rights of a grandmother to their children. We’ve had some great times together. I even take being a grandmother for granted, you might say. But lately I’ve thought more about it.

Some people say it’s great being a grandparent because the “kids go home.” Although I know what they mean because sometimes the energy it takes can wear you out, I don’t really agree. I always wish all of our grandchildren lived right across the street and would come over all the time. I do miss them a lot. There are some great things about grandkids, especially ours.

Maybe the best part about grandkids is that you can relax. You aren’t totally responsible for your grandkids. For example, sometimes Dylan (almost 12) and Taylor (8) will not eat anything that’s good for them. I realize that they aren’t drinking their milk, eating vegetables, or whatever. Then I say, “So what? They probably do much better at home.” And I go and buy granola bars, apples, and anything almost healthy I can think of. I figure they’ll eventually eat better. Relax, they’ll be just fine.

Once Gina (their mother), Dylan, Taylor, and I went to Disney World. It was really fun and I realized this is why I exercise every day ... so that I can keep up with my grandkids. We went on rides and walked around every day from 9 until 5. Then we came back. Gina took a rest while I took the kids swimming until 8 or 9 o’clock. We’d come back to our room. I’d quickly undress and immediately fall into bed. The kids and Gina would still be eating their pizza when I’d fall asleep..

Disney World also reminds me of another advantage of being a grandparent. This advantage may not apply to everybody, but it does for me. When Dylan (7) would take his squirt bottle and start squirting people’s legs, I could patiently tell him to stop. I didn’t feel mad or embarrassed. I’d been through it all before. Some kids think of tons of things to do to entertain themselves when they are in a line. Dylan also unhooked the chain, swung on the chain, played in the dirt, climbed on the garbage cans, and ran back and forth to the drinking fountains. Sometimes guards would tell him to stop before I could. He would stop and come up with another unacceptable activity. But I knew that he was just bored and active.

At the swimming pool, I’ve always been right behind my grandchildren. Sometimes they would get very excited, and run all over the deck of the swimming pool. I remember once two or three days in a row, the lifeguards all over the pool were blowing their whistles at Dylan with Taylor and me, running right behind him. I never worried about it. Eventually, Dylan would notice the whistles or I would catch him. Then we’d review the rules, yet again. It wasn’t a big deal. I knew that he’d learn, stop running, or maybe the lifeguards would make him sit out. I’d been there before. This is what lots of kids do: they forget the rules, break the rules, and sometimes sit out.

Dylan and Taylor have stayed with us every summer. For the past few summers, they have stayed alone (without parents). This has been great for us. We make plans and then go places with them. Sometimes we go places that I really want to see and have never seen. Once we went to the Steamboat Arabia in Kansas City. All of us were thoroughly entertained. We went to Union Station and had a great time. So being a grandparent, you get around and see new things and sometimes old things. One very hot summer day, we took Dylan and Taylor ice-skating in Kansas City. Bob was dubious about the whole experience. Taylor had seen an ice-skating movie and was very enthusiastic while Dylan wanted to skate as fast as possible like the Mighty Ducks.

Bob said privately, “We’ll drive all this way. They’ll skate five minutes and say it’s too hard and then quit.”

“No, they won’t. They’ll love it and skate the whole two hours.”

I was right. Dylan fell over and over. He wanted to skate fast. Taylor liked being pulled around. After 40 minutes, both kids were skating around and enjoying themselves. By the end of the session, they loved ice-skating. Bob and I were very tired, but lots of memories of skating with our kids came back. It was exhilarating, just like it used to be.

Another time I took Dylan and Taylor roller skating in Topeka. It was their first time and they were a little hesitant. But Dylan and Taylor are pretty incredible kids. This is the another good part about being a grandparent: you can brag shamelessly. Hey, it’s too bad if the other person feels bad. Grandparents are supposed to brag. In the roller skating situation, I had to confess to Dylan and Taylor that they’d better be careful because I might fall ON them, so watch out. The walls on the side were a little spotty, unlike the ice-skating rink.

The first 20 minutes were challenging. I kept telling them, “All of a sudden, you’ll get it and be skating fine.”

Taylor noticed another little girl her age (about 5) and started talking to her. I was off the hook. They began skating together and became buddies quickly. Dylan was still a problem, skating erratically and griping..

“There is this pesky little kid following me. Tell him to go away.”

“Dylan, you used to follow older kids around all the time. Maybe you could play with him.”

“I know I followed kids around, but nobody has ever done it to me. I don’t like it.”

“I’m taking a rest. I fell pretty hard that time. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

A few minutes later, something clicked. I saw the boy chasing Dylan and they started playing together. The rest of the two hours passed quickly. Taylor and Dylan both had a great time. I spent some time just watching them as they became better and better skaters. Dylan and Taylor are troopers. They really try hard to learn new things. I admired them.

One of my favorite things about being a grandparent is doing new things together. Luckily, Dylan and Taylor live on a farm so there are many new things. One of my best memories is the summer Dylan (6) learned to ride a two-wheeler. His uncles — Zach and Arna — were worried.

“That kid is going to kill himself. We shouldn’t take off the training wheels. He likes to go fast ...”

“I know he’s ready. Look the driveway is smooth. We’ve got it blocked off.”

“Well, at least make him wear a helmet.”

“Good idea.”

Arna took off the training wheels. We stuck a helmet on Dylan and I gave him a push. Dylan took off, with no problems.

“I knew he could do it, easily. ..”

After that, it was keeping track of Dylan on campus. He’d go on bike rides everywhere. He developed his favorite spots, just like Arna had. That’s another really fun aspect of being a grandparent, watching things repeat. Arna loved the independence of riding his bike all over campus and going into the student center for a while and then riding home. Dylan does the same. They even found the same Facilities and Operations people on campus to befriend. Once I was driving around looking for Dylan and I saw his abandoned bike. Two blocks later I saw Dylan riding around on a gator with Charles, our beloved gardener and friend. I remember Arna and even Zach (in the driver’s seat), doing the same thing when KU first got the gators.

It’s many moments that make grandchildren so special. You see them have fun, run around with joy, show off — “Watch me,” they say. You watch and you just appreciate that they are healthy, happy, and there. Every move they make is cute and special. My last tribute to grandkids is that they are ... let me give you an example.

Last summer we were at the beach with some of our younger grandchildren. Elliot was four at the time. I was in the water with him, trying to float around and catch some small waves. Elliot was wearing an inner tube and I was standing by. A huge wave came in and caught us. I tried to hold his inner tube unsuccessfully and he flipped over. He was splashed, dunked, and thrown out of the tube. He came up sputtering.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t really see it coming. I didn’t realize it was such a big one.”

“It’s okay ...”

Grandkids forgive you, always.