November 12, 2007
There are numerous questions that have confounded and held the imagination of mankind for centuries? Is there really a God? What is chaos and what is order? What are the true origins of the universe? What is man’s purpose?
I have one to add to the list:
What’s the deal with all the shredded lettuce on store-bought sub-sandwiches?
The proliferation of sub-sandwich shop chains brings this question front and center in modern day for us to ponder. From my turkey sandwich, I’ve just removed 5 semi-truck loads of lettuce that took California migrant farms workers more than three days to harvest. There’s enough lettuce on individual store-bought sub-sandwiches these days to provide mulch and ground cover for my yard for years to come.
The value of heaping piles of shredded, choke-inducing lettuce on a sandwich to me is most unclear. At best, it’s tasteless, bland filler material. There’s also that maniacal glee in the eyes of teen-aged sub-shop workers brandishing their latex gloves and hair nets. They cut the bread, sneeze, layer on the ingredients, sneeze again, spray on the mayo ... all in anticipation of the big, double-fisted, lettuce-laden finish.
If you find this insane, dumping-of-the-green on your sandwich ritual as ridiculous as I do, please join my crusade. I’ll start by producing colorful, rubber “LOTL” (light on the lettuce) wristbands and “lettuce alone” posters. Do your part by just saying “No!”
We won’t win overnight. It will take sacrifice and courage. But if we all stick together, we can stop the madness!
Comments
debster52 (anonymous) says...
I agree....oh can we ban the watery tomatoes also???? After all we must be alert.....cause the world needs more lerts....lol...thanks for the chuckle
November 12, 2007 at 12:10 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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