BoomerGirl Diary

By Cara Fidler

Is there a celebrity or someone famous, deceased or living, that you have or had a crush on? A football or baseball player, or some other athlete, a musician, a writer, an anchorman, a singer, an actor, a politician, or someone else who's often in the limelight?

Remember that certain someone you looked forward to passing in the hall on the way to class, when you were in high school or college? If you were lucky, he noticed you, too, and smiled or said, hi. And when and if he did, your spirits soared. It was the high point of your day. And the only person who noticed you floating down the hallway with gossamer wings was you. Instead of paying attention to your lesson in Algebra, you sat there in class looking studious, when you were preoccupied with whimsical, romantic, lustful thoughts of you and him together, alone on a blanket, kissing beneath the stars.

Over the years, I've had crushes on Montgomery Clift, Richard Burton, Batman, James Darren, Ricky Nelson, Robert Wagner, the Marlboro Man, Kurt Russell, Jeff Bridges, Robert Conrad who played James West on "The Wild, Wild West," Robert DeNiro, Johnny Depp, Andy Garcia, Stephen King, Pierce Brosnan, Mr. Big, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Al Pacino, Joe Theismann, and Tom Brady, who is in my thoughts and prayers, after a hit to his left knee in the first quarter of the opening game for the '08 season, that resulted in such a serious injury that he'll be out for the entire season.

And one other man who shall remain unnamed.

When I see him on TV, I fairly swoon (yes, swoon) and am lifted up out of the chair behind my desk and levitate toward the TV set where I sit on a lily pad, rendered senseless by the mere sight of him, this handsome hunk who is the object of my infatuation, my schoolgirl crush.

For now, I am Barbie and he is Ken, so please don't rain on my fairy tale. Rapt in an endorphin high, I am mesmerized by the mellow sound of his voice, by his face as I hold my magnifying glass up to the screen peering through it. For a few moments, I take leave of my senses. I want to feed him grapes, be at his beck and call, wait on him hand and foot, steel his wool.

After my brief escape from the mundane, I feel exhilarated. Rejuvenated. My imaginary lover has invigorated me. I feel like a Hoola Hoop. A Frisbee. A kite. A Slinky. An Etch- A-Sketch. I want to take my Kenner's Easy Bake Oven out of the closet and bake a cake.

Never underestimate the alluring, energizing effect of a schoolgirl crush.