BoomerGirl Diary

I came back.

I intended to go to law school in Denver, take the bar exam and then move back home. I got stranded in Denver for 24 years. Not a bad place to be stranded, but it wasn't home.

People would ask where I was from and I would answer-- I live in Denver.

For years family and friend would tell me-- come home. Come home, we'll have a barbeque. Come home, we can go to movies and have dinner. Come home, my children will love more time with you. Come home to the comfort of your loved ones.

So when I finally got the opportunity to come home, I jumped on it. I had nothing to tie me to Denver and my job was ending, so I took my savings and moved home.

Good thing I had savings. With all of my education, I still have not been able to find the job I want. So I have gone back to school for a certificate to complement my skills.

So I came home, but there are no barbeques, no movies, no dinners. Everyone is so involved in their own lives that there is no room for the girl who went away so long ago.

Maybe that girl just doesn't exist anymore. I remember when she left. She was shy; she never spoke up. She was poor; she lived simply. She was unsure of herself; she didn't try new things or extend herself.

Maybe the people she left behind don't exist anymore either. Their children have grown now. They are thinking about retiring. They are redefining their own lives.

So maybe a girl needs to make her own home.

Maybe I'll stay here, maybe I'll move away again for a job. But whatever I do, I know that what once was can never be again so I need to find ways to accept that and deal with it. It doesn't mean that I do not love my friends and family. It just means that we have grown in different ways and must each find our own pathway home.